Just Pass Me By

Man, I am tired. This weekend wasn’t good. Lets see I blogged about what happened on Friday night. Dad took a fall, he was okay. Sunday dad fall asleep on the couch and his heart rate had dropped seriously low. He started aspirating and not responding to me. I was very concerned about him, normally I can rouse Dad from his sleep but couldn’t and he was puking. I was able to get him in a position that he could puke up with out coking on it or worst. The EMT came right away! I will say Clackamas County EMTS and Fire department I am impressed with they got here very fast. They had to shock dad heart to get it beating at a pace that was good. So Now I am once again behind in my practicum class, and have fallen behind in my social cultural class, and I am exhausted and have no concentration.
I responded to Dad issues in probably under a minute, within a minute from that my husband was calling 911 and very quickly they came. I am starting to wonder how much more stress I can take in this set of classes before i simply break down.
I normally do not cry but Sunday I just couldn’t stop from crying. I was scared for dad. By the time we got to the ER and was let in Dad was off the machine and heart rate was normal. They kept him for 2 nights because he had a similar episode overnight the first night. They took him off the beta blockers and told us low fat/low sodium diet. Okay I can do that no problem, because I already do that at home. This weekend I really realized how many things I gave up since moving her. Now I would still do this again, but if I could go back I would have brought my guitar with me. It my outlet that I really need.
Dad came home today from the hospital you know, I didn’t sleep good while he was at the hospital, but I felt a lot better that they had a thing on his bed to indicate he gotten up. I was worried he might fall there at the hospital. I have to say I am impressed with the hospital too.

Last night we had to call 911 for dad. He fall in the bathroom and we couldn’t get him up. He was trying to sleep on the floor and was just not very responsive. The nice thing the dispatcher lift me go right away probably figuring we had everything under control and he was breathing. This is a good thing, and she left me get off my cellphone. Yeah I don’t want to see my cell phone bill oh well. The fire department removed my door in the bathroom. My husband told me to call maint and have them do it. Why do it, I mean I know how to fix it. Just like my guitar teacher is able to teach cords as long as the person has hands to learn with, and it kindof similar. I just had to align the door.

Wow it’s raining and you know it bad when a small dog sinks into the mud. Yep the dog is sinking in the mud. I know I do not want to venture far into any of the yards around here. I did the other day and almost slipped thank goodness I had one foot on concrete. It’s amazing how slippery the grassy areas are, almost as bad as snow but not quiet.

I don’t even bother asking him who I am when my husband talking to him and he’s confused as to who I am. He sometimes thinks I am one of his wives either x or mom. I love dad and it painful to watch my husband dad go through this. I call his dad, dad, his parents accepted me from day one. It didn’t matter anything about my past or where I had came from they showed me love, and respect as their daughter inlaw. The first night I met them they told me my husband misses up they would adopt me then he couldn’t have me at all. It made me feel wanted and the L-rd knows I needed that kind of acceptance. Now with dad Alzhiemers I don’t think he is who I used to know. He not as friendly any more, and he seems more angry. He gets confused as to where he is at and who he is with, or where he is living. The other night he told me he had to go home, so I had to tell him he was at home and go back to bed.
This is a horrible desease dad has and it not like you can put a teflon hose in the brain and cure it. There is no real known reason for Alzhiemers, we do know the brain shrinks with age, but it similar according to the doctor last night. What I would like to understand is why do some people get it and why do some people just lose some of there faculties. I really think I need my guitar soon I need a outlet to relieve stress. I am glad I had a friend to go out with this week and get out of the house.

Living with someone with Alzheimer is hard. Tonight dad doesn’t know who I am, he was confused when my husband was talking to him a little bit about me. Last night he was in the hospital, so I can’t feel to bad because he couldn’t even tell us how he met mom when we was trying to keep him talking. He told us he met her in a willborrow, don’t ask I am still trying to understand what he was trying to answer. He been seeming to get confused more and there are more days he doesn’t know me. I am not sure, how I feel. Part of me is sad, another part of me is wondering how much longer are we going to be able to care for him. Last night he fall in the bathroom and we needed to call 911 to get him out. The reason why I was worried he had sustained head injuries. I was able to figure out what he did in the bathroom to fall down. He seemed to know his son tonight.

Oh My goodness!!! My electric bill is crazy. 215$ for 1 months yes you are reading right. We decided to try to heat the apartment by wood fire I think this will be a lot less saying I can find reasonable wood. Well I do not celebrate it but maybe I should have got fire wood as gifts for christmas or at least asked for it. I am shocked with the price of my electric bill. It not to cold here and only have turned the heat to 60F so I just do not see how the heater could be using that much electrical power. About to tell everyone in this little apartment were sweets and stop the complaints don’t want to give the electric company my left arm here.

Wow I can’t believe it there has been no snow down here, I love it. I don’t have to worry about slipping and falling and boy it’s to warm for a down jackets. Even my nice jacket has been to warm… It is so nice not to bundle up to the point of almost not being able to walk. It kind of strange to, to be able to walk where ever I want and see no snow. Even in the part of Washington I lived there was snow around now. I love this

Don’t be alarmed but some guest you want to die and quickly. Well I finally called my vet for help. We got Fleas in SD at a hotel, I thought I had those buggers killed and gone. So they are the unwanted guest who don’t want to die. I have given the cat and dog a bath almost weekly, put flea repelent stuff that supposed to kill them. My cat is a walking flea bag, I give him a bath and his water turns brownish from them. If what the vet recommend dont work I am not sure what I will do next. Maybe shave the animals bold.. lol All I know is I am becoming allergic to my pets dander, and my asthma starting to flare more often, I am not to worried I got my allergy meds, which I won’t like taking.
So if bathing the animals, flea crap that goes on their back dont work how likely is the vet stuff gonna work… Well it cost enough, so it better work, or I will ask for a refund!

I have been looking to fulfill my practicum hours, 6 out of 6 places rejected me. Oh well I got a few more places I can go to.. I just have to remember to keep my head up. I haven’t looked for a job yet because I need to find my practicum site, first so I know what my schedule is, but at the rate I am going I might fail the stupid class because I can not find one. Which would totally ruin my gpa and my academics. Oh well hopefully I can find it soon. It is a little on the cool side maybe I should look into getting my hubby a carhartt sweatshirts for men, so that he not to cold. We still haven’t gotten our winter time jackets and wearing wind breakers.

I know I shouldn’t let this discourage me but it amazing how many people say no and how many say it’s because of my school which meets all the same requirements. Oh well I will keep looking and hopefully I will find something within the week.

I’ve wrote about my struggles in the past of caring for my husband dad, who has Alzheimer’s and dementia. Dad does things which is hard not to let it upset me, and sometimes worries me. Lately dad been a lot of the playing the victim card on people. My husband and I do not hurt him or harm him. He been refusing to wear his hearing aids so he doesn’t understand what being told to him, and then gets mad when we tell him put them in. I went to grab his hearing aids to put them in and he acted as if I was gonna inflict pain on him. I have never hit him or came close to it. Neither has my husband, yet dad acts like we do horrible things. This concerns me because we would never do anything to him.
The worst we do is make him drink 3 bottles of water a day, and eat healthy, put his hearing aids in and walk with his cane. I wish their was medical malpractice insurance illinois for caring for family some days. I am studying to be a counselor and taking practicum and have to have liability insurance. which is amazing. I am not working with clients yet. Oh well back to the topic.
Dad has lived with us for a few years now. Dealing with him becomes more and more like dealing with a child. He takes the couch pillow and puts them over the dog to keep her from getting cold. He use far to much toilet paper and feeds the animals. Everything he does to cause a mess I am the benefactor of it. I have to clean it up. When he lies to people my husband and I have to explain the issues. He been doing a lot of sundowning or trying too but we keep him on a sleep schedule. I love my husband dad but somedays it is hard to deal with, I love him but his ploy for sympathy is frustrating. Can’t he understand people will like him and care about him even if he in a good home, with people who love and care and simply want the best for him.
Lately he been doing the I am not gonna use my cane, and i am gonna full all over the place and get a bruise on my forehead because I refuse to walk with my cane. Then he get angry at me when I tell him to use his cane.
Recently we have started to have to tell him when to go to the bathroom because his brain isn’t receiving the message of I have to go to the bathroom. So he have accidents on the couch or his bed but he won’t tell us when it happens. He tries to hid it from us then when I find it I have to deal with it. This is a ugly thing for anyone to have and I hate watching my husband dad go through this, it heart breaking. I don’t know how to keep from feeling angry, sad and a bunch of other feelings when dad in a episode.