Just Pass Me By

I like to know where he went, oh there he is, for our anniversary a personalized gifts, I think it would be great if I could do that. I been wanting to do it for a couple years now and never have been able to get him something. I know what I want to get him but every time that time comes I can’t. I can’t say what I am thinking I want to get because he reads my page.
We went out for dinner, and then we came back home from the store. We had to pick up water and other junk, sometimes spending time with him is hard. On Saturday we sit together during worship and other part but it not like having time to talk to him about things. Lately a lot of our talks have been about dad, and not other things, seldomly do we have time to spend with each other.

I got a good night sleep last night, dad was able to sleep all night which is great. I should look into getting some msm supplement maybe it would help my immune system deal with all the stress it under. Last night I had some strange dreams, and some dreams mixed in with other stuff going on in life.
I woke up this morning a couple of times but for the most my dreams where pleasant and funny. I had a couple not so pleasant dreams but that happens sometimes. I am glad dad sleep all night it allowed my body a little time to heal. I woke up this morning able to speak a little stronger then yesterday but boy I am tired.
I decided last minute this morning to go to service and I partly went because I was going to go stair crazy.
Dad was pretty good today no confusion and yesterday he didn’t recall anything about being up early in the morning or keeping us up. I think the way I will define Alzheimer is being stuck in a past reality and unable to be apart of the present reality.

My husband has been doing great on his weight loss goal, and has been losing enough weight that some of his clothes are starting to fit him better, and other are simply starting to fall off of him. I am proud of him, this is the first time since I have known him that he’s been successful at losing weight. To day after service during our fellowship lunch is what I will call it so everyone who reads this can understand it. I noticed him wearing a shirt that I’d never seen before.
I have to say our friend did a great job at finding him some nice tops because it looked good on him. At dinner tonight I was looking at the logo or design. I called it a devil because for some reason it looked to me like one. We had a little laugh at it and we knew that our friend wouldn’t do that. But it is amazing how sometimes you can look at a logo and see something very different.

I wished I had my camera out and ready today. Otis and Shadow were so cute together and it would have been a nice picture. Otis was sitting on the end of the coach and shadow was laying right next to him. They where even being good until Otis caught my eye. I think the dog is a better weight lose item then any effective weight loss supplements I like walking and exercising and the dogs got a load of energy.
What caught my eye is that Otis started slapping the dog again. Poor thing didn’t know what she done wrong so she went running under where hubby likes to site.

Every time I finally fall asleep I got rudely waken up by the neighbors kids. I am getting real sick of parents allowing there kids to play and run in the hall way and think its okay.. We have a rec room and a swimming pulls and hell as far as I can tell the mom don’t need any prenatal vitamins. I don’t understand why parents do that, I understand that the hallway is not a playground area. I got work up form my nap right at that annoying place where if you get woke up either you can’t fall asleep or your up for a long time afterwards. Dad woke me early. So I am running on borrowed batteries.

Last night was a very long night, dad had me up half the night. Then when I was asleep I was waking my self of with bad breathing. Dad was up half the night talking to his wife who passed away a year ago in August. We have to figure out our budgeting advice because of him being with us and me cutting back my hours at work to take care of dad.
Well last night he got up at 445 am telling me he had to go to work, and needed to find his work clothes. He wanted his car keys and wanted to know where we’d put them. Well dad don’t drive and he been retired for at least 20 years if not longer. I lost my voice so i can’t talk loud enough to communicate with him clearly.
I had to wake my husband because I was worried he leave the house and there would be little I could do to help him understand he retired and doesn’t work and was safely at home. I tried telling him go back to bed.
Hubby came out and ask him what was going on. So dad repeated everything to hubby. Hubby told him he been retired for a long time and he didn’t have to go to work. So dad told him fine I tell them to call you when they call me.
It very hard to see dad like this. Well I never really fall back to sleep and when I finally did dad came back out looking to see if I was a sleep, well I wake up very quickly. I am a light sleeper so normally if everything off in the living room or hallway best to let me sleep. I am hoping I can get a nap today. I ended up calling in sick again because I can barely talk and not feeling good at all.

One thing for sure I seem to be always catching stuff from our kids at work. I been sick for a couple of days now, but at least today I am starting to feel a bit better. It’s amazing that at the store the counter displays don’t show different meds which are for sale. It started the other night with a head ache and sore throat and now I am stuff up and have a sore throat.
Yesterday I had to stop at the pharmacist for my rescue inhaler I seem to use it more often when I am sick. I got some cold meds there too, and its amazing how every time I get it they want my id. I know because some of the ingredients in these drugs can be made into some type of drug, but honestly I don’t even know how to do it and have no interest in it.

I don’t have any title for this post. It seems lately every time I listen to the news it very sad, today another explosion happened just a few miles from me. I wonder if they are going to find that the lines in this house were crossed with plumbing or if it was a leak of some kind. Recently about 20 miles from me there was an other explosion, I wonder who is responsible to pay it. The utility company or the home owner if they crossed lines with an other utility company I hope they will be held responsible.
I mean they hold pharmaceutical responsible for damages, that why reading diet supplement reviews is important when picking a diet pill. Well I guess the news just said it was crews hit a natural gas line. It is amazing how utility companies are allowed to be the only one in the area, and it to me seems there not a good way to watch over the companies, because accidents happen. Well I guess the utility company got 3 years to fix this problem here, yet I wonder how many more explosion there will be in this state.

The other day I was reading ingredients in bath stuff, and shaving stuff for woman. What I was shocked to discover is that some of the products have fake sugars in them, I wonder if it the same with wrinkle treatment. My shaving cream had a fake sugar in it, I wonder if I will react to it the same way I do when I ate it. I get very ill when I have fake sugar, my system will not tolerate the over process chemical of them. I can’t even do splenda.
What I would like to know is why do they need to put a sweetener in shaving cream, grant it it’s scented fruit but that still doesn’t mean it needed, it not like I am planning on eating the shaving cream. I can tell you it’s not edible.

My older sister and her hubby live on the west coast. I forgot the time difference over there, wasn’t thinking about it. I had a lot on my mind. My sister told her hubby what hubby and I were going through with dad, who right now having a lot of joint pain in his legs. His dad has the same thing, and I told him you and my sister are the only ones I know like me, that are the child experiencing it not just the spouse. This weekend I found out there was a couple of other people in the same situation as hubby and I and to be honest it made me feel less alone.
I was talking to sis hubby about needing to start thinking about making things more protective of dad, because I am worried in one of his state of confusion he going to walk out in the cold winter night and something bad might happen. He told me something, along the lines of if something happens to dad it’s not your fault if he leaves while your sleeping or your hubby sleeping. You have done your best to care for him. Pretty much told me what ever happens to dad isn’t my fault, it because of what he going through, when it time for dad to pass, I already know no matter how good I was to him I am going to find blame or at least look for it in myself. I worry about dad sometimes when I am gone because he doesn’t take care of himself well, and can only be gone for 5 hours at a time, no longer, because he can’t be lift alone. It was nice talking to him about it, because they understand the sacrifices made by hubby and I when others don’t get it in the same way.