Just Pass Me By

Do you have older parents? Have you ever noticed that they will try to minimize what they are going through? They simply do not want to admit to not being able to take care of the other ill spouse, and will try to do it even though it may make their sistuation so much worst. We are kind of facing this. Mom is having one of her stubborn streaks.

The doctors want my husband mom to be in a care facility for a month, after her surgery. She needs to have therapy to regain strength, she recently had a stroke which is affecting her left side. Yesterday she told the doctors with no uncertain terms was she going back to the home she was at last time, and that she could stay home because their neighbor would take care of her.

My husband mom is able to walk some, but her balance isn’t the best and she is still not strong. She really needs the added care, and their neighbor no matter how well intention probably can not take care of mom 24/7. What happens if she falls in the middle of the night, dad can’t pick her u, and what if their neighbors aren’t able to come to their aide.

I can not tell you how many times, my husband and I have had to tell the Nurses that dad not strong enough to pick up mom if she falls down. Mom has fallen many times at home since this summer, amazingly she has broken no bones, and hasn’t busted open her head yet. How much longer are we going to have before she finally injures her self so bad that she will not be able to go back home again.

Tonight we talked to mom nurse. The nurse seemed to know how to deal with mom and said that she would find out how the overnight goes. She said she had no trouble with mom but the overnight staff has had trouble and had to have a bed alarm on her to make sure she didn’t try to get up on her own. The nurse said if they have trouble then tomorrow she would talk to mom, and try to get her to agree to go to a facility for rehab. My husband and I were planning on having me talk to mom, to try to get her to see right now the safest place may not be at home for her, but in a month if she does rehab and tries hard she can go back home.

I really do not want to be the one to have the talk with his mom, I don’t want her or the rest of the family to think I am the evil daughter in law. I know my concerns do not make me evil, and I almost wonder if us standing idly by is being evil and not helpful. I do not want to his parents harmed or anything but at the same time I don’t want them angry with us neither.. This is such a hard place to be in.