Just Pass Me By

Today at work, I was thinking about some things that have bugged me but I never really say they bugged me. I have told my husband how I feel but honestly I just don’t think he gets it. I love my husband and right now he is the one who getting a lot of my frustrations taken out on him. Sometimes he does stupid things which most men do with out even thinking about it.
Seriously I have way to much time to think on this type of job. My radio battery dead which means that I didn’t have much to listen to just the machines all around me. Well I started thinking this is a bad thing, sometimes I think I should not be allowed to think at all.
I started thinking about the times one of my temp companies would call my cellphone for my husband who has his own cellphone. Normally I’d hear we have a job for him, or whatever. I have asked them if they lift him a message. Even my Rabbi called my phone for my husband to offer my husband a job.
I have started to feel like everyone is calling me for my husband but no one wants me. Don’t get me wrong I don’t have a problem with our Rabbi calling my husband on my phone, or calling it to give my husband a job. I don’t mind but at the same time it makes me look at me and start feeling, well like a less then desirable person.
When the temp companies have called for him this makes me feel annoyed because they are using my cellphone minutes and not calling me for my own employment assignments. There are other things going on between hubby and I, but that not important. This probably isn’t important neither, I just feel like I am in my husband shadow, and that people really don’t see that much value in me.
I consistently hear from him or other what a great job he doing or what he accomplished, while I am sitting her struggling to find a job which wants me. Sometimes people will say oh I thought your husband did this or that, I didn’t realize you did too. I am not saying I want to compete with my husband but for once I would like to hear something positive about what I have done, or something other thing a comment about my voice by a certain few people who sometimes make me feel like that’s the only quality they see in me.
What I do not get is why call me and ask me if this is something my husband would be interested in. I am not in his mind,I can’t read his mind, and nor can I make any decisions for him. If they honestly think he would be a good fit for a job then they should call him and talk to him about it, and not me.
I am not upset with Rabbi call because Craig changed his number and never gave it to our congregation, so I was the easiest way for Rabbi to get a hold of him. I don’t mind if I am with my husband and someone calls for him, but I figure if he isn’t with me, wouldn’t it be best to call him on his cell and leave him a message.