I don’t need help

Sometimes I wonder when my husband is going to learn it not wise to tick me off! We stopped at Cubs because I needed a couple of things. I have a fracture ankle. I will just say by the time I got home I was ticked off and pretty much of the mind set get out of my face because frankly I don’t want to be around you, and I don’t need your help. Shoot he lift me by my self in Cubs to handle all the lifting and carrying so why does it matter if I am doing it at home from the Van to the balcony!
He had put my bible down in the car, he claims it was up, and none of the pages for bent. Well when I saw my bible there it had some of the pages inside of a cup holder and got bunched up. So I told him you bunch up some of the pages in my Bible. He said I was yelling at him but I felt I was in my normal tone. He said if you going to yell at me I am not coming in. I said I am not yelling, so he decided to stand at a wall and feel sorry for his self. I decided I would just get what I needed done in Cubs because my ankle was anyways hurting since he bumped it at lunch with our prayer group.
Wonder when he going to learn that, if I am in pain it’s probably not wise to make me feel frustrated with everything and being in pain I am frustrated already! I have been feeling frustrated with our communication for months now. I love him but sometimes we just don’t communicate well! I got finished in Cubs, and came back out. He didn’t bother on trying to help he just watched me. I told him as far as I was concern he could walk home. If I could have lift him safely with out hurting him physically I would have, because I was in a simply foal mood. I have been feeling a lot of criticism lately.Your voice is to loud, your yelling at me. Your this or your that, top that off with a company who on numerous occasions decided to tell me I have a personality defect. Hmm I don’t know, I know I can get pretty crabby when it comes to feeling my stuff isn’t being handled with care. He should have lift my Bible on my seat where I laid it. When I was done taking off my boat and putting the stupid air cast on I would have placed my bible where I wanted it. I just minded the No I didn’t when he was the one who moved my bible. Well I didn’t lay it their on top or by the cup holders! So in my opinion which I am probably wrong it’s his fault that it got bent a bit! I probably should have looked where it was and moved it! So it’s my fault because I just assumed it was safe where it was.
When I got home I brought everything in the house. On my own. He was seating there in the parking lot trying to tell me but you have a weight restriction. Yes I do, but it’s clear he didn’t care about the weight restriction at Cubs, he was fine with me doing everything on my own. So I can do it on my own now, that’s how I felt. I know how petty can I be. But it just bugs me, what is he trying to look good to our neighbors who pretty much don’t know us. If he really was concerned about my weight restriction he would have came into Cubs and found me, not waited until I was out of Cubs. Now my ankle hurts even more so I probably should have told him, you bring everything in and don’t bother talking to me, and walked away. But Normally when I feel angry and frustrated I take it out on working out but that does no good when I can barely walk. I can’t miss work tomorrow because I need the hours at work.
I feel bad that more often then not when I speak, he feels I am yelling or making a scene even though I am at the same volume as everywhere else. I am so tired of feeling frustrated with communicating verbally. I used to think I was a good communicator but it’s clearly I am horrible at it.
Even at lunch he felt the need to get on me for not saying much in our prayer meeting. Well I just didn’t have anything to add! When I had something to add I spoke up, goodness I need a passport for being allowed not to say anything and for being allowed to say something. I just feel like everything I do today isn’t good enough. Actually felt that way for a while. I will say he lucky he not married to my mom who used to have a tendency of chasing with frying pan to get her point across my thing is yelling. If I don’t feel I am understand sometimes I think raising my voice will help that happen, which it doesn’t.

Under my feet

I think my cat is trying to break my neck or something. He is under my feet, and it’s not so easy to step over Otis. I recently fractured my ankle along with tearing the tendon and bursting the ligaments in my ankle. I am going to be in a walking boot for 3 to 6 weeks, I am thinking I might be out by week 3. Normally I heal quickly, and I am healthy for the most.
Otis has been pretty much right under feet if I gotta go to the bathroom he’s in there with me bumping his head on my sore leg. Why is it that pets and kids always find a way to touch or sore. Yesterday had adult do it to me, he aught to be glad he a senior because if he wasn’t I wouldn’t have been so nice to him! It’s not nice to tap someone foot because they in a boot but okay no big deal it didn’t kill me and my foot wasn’t hurting that much anyways because I sat for most of service. Back to Otis, he wants to be sleep with me which I don’t have a problem with until he lays on top of my feet then I don’t much like it. He been pretty good and hasn’t tried sleeping on my feet. He hasn’t tried attacking it yet neither which is good. Now here what I don’t get if he isn’t near me and I walk over to him he looking at my big ol’ black boot like it just might attack him.
Otis is a sweet cat, but boy can’t he just stay out from under my feet for a few weeks, so I don’t end up with both legs being sore.
I will say one thing, this boot is hot and uncomfortable during the day. It is hard to stand in enclosed spaces like church pews. It’s better having a nice open space, washing dishes and picking things up off the floor is a challenge. Otis has gotten some yummy stuff because of how slow I am picking up food. At least it’s nothing dangerous for him. I won’t be wearing any sexy shoes for a long time, I am pretty much resigned to having to wear Tennis. I think, when I am healed enough to wear my aircast all the time, I am going out to get me a new pear of Tennis Shoes. I have a favorite brand and I think I will go with hubby to get it at the Mall.

Get out of the intersection

On Friday, I had to go to my mechanic house and do some work for him. Not a problem at all, I first dropped my husband off at his job. His car is still broke down, so I figured it be nice to take him to work and then go on my way. Well I was going up to work and there’s this one intersection is horrible between my husband work and my mechanic house.
I got to that intersection. Normally I am used to setting through at least a half of light. On Friday, I sat through several lights, because some RV’s decided they had to stop right in the middle of the intersection which means no one would go anywhere I either side of the street. By the 3rd light of setting through and waiting when I was the first car at the intersection I was starting to become annoyed. We all know my husband mom has cancer so I am probably one step away from road rage. I tried to think about my home office, and some things I need in it. I was wishing I had a copier so I could make a few copies of things I needed for school.
Well, finally I got tired of thinking of my office and started feeling annoyed that I had to sit at the light. So I pretty much said so loud, Come on Get out of the Intersection, so others can get through. The guy parked next to me, said, they all want to do the short cut it. We talked for a few minutes, well maybe one of them heard mine and his little conversation because that was the last green light we had to sit through. it took me close to a half hour from my husband work to my mechanics which is normally a 5 to 10 minute ride. Just lovely, I wish people would learn if they are in a RV they aught to wait on the other side of the road and not block the intersection of a major street. If it’s not illegal to park in a busy intersection then it should be unless the car is broke down. I am reasonable something a drive can’t help but when your in control of your vehicle then there’s probably no need for you to be in the middle of the intersection.

Cancer all around

The last couple of weeks have been hard to deal with to say the least. Today we went up to mom and dad’s, my husband’s parents. They are wonderful people. A few weeks ago mom was diagnosed with cancer. I have grown very close to his parents, and I am fairly protective. I am angry and frustrated, I could simply at times cry buckets of tears. I have been a wreck of some kind. Both my husband and I are very sensitive right now, so we do not always get along or communicated clearly. We will say something to the other maybe just meaning to encourage the other but never falls one of us right and feels attacked or just doesn’t get it in the same light.
While trying to process this, I had a friend from my congregation share she had cancer. I started becoming angry because I just felt like all my friends are getting very sick and there simply is nothing I can do to help them. I can pray and put them in G-d’s hands and yes with her and my husband’s mom it’s a comfort to know they know the L-rd and have a relationship. This weekend I found out they got all the cancer and no treatment is needed on my friend. Well at least one of my prayers was heard. I know this isn’t my religious page, but I kind of need to just vent about it. I was relieved to hear about my friend being clean and not needing any treatment but then I look at my husband’s mom and wonder why can’t she be free of Cancer. Why is it that some times cancer is allowed to just eat the entire body and nothing can be done for that person other then prayer, which may or may not be answered in the manor we want it to be.
When I was 16, I had went to live with my dad and a few weeks after my 17th birthday my dad had died from mesothelioma. In many ways with my husband’s mom, I am dealing with a lot of unresolved feelings from then. I wasn’t really allowed to show my feelings, and never really cried about my dad. Don’t get me wrong I loved him, and didn’t want him to suffer. When he passed I didn’t have all the understanding I know now. Mom has been in pain normally she never shares it but tonight she was sharing the kinds of pain she was having.
She was talking about going to the bathroom, and hurting when she went. She said that she thinks her cancer has moved into the colon, and that she don’t want to eat because it hurts.
I am so angry that this cancer can take her happiness or ability to eat good foods away from her. Right now I simply feel so angry at this thing in her body, I wish I could fight it and throw it out of her. My husband mom is a wonderful lady, she always been compassionate to me. I had twisted my ankle this week a couple days after we found out her cancer was not treatable. I twisted it bad enough that right now it looks like I have a golf ball in my ankle. She was concern because I showed her it, it was swallow and she told me to put some ice on it. After a little while she told me I should go and have it checked I told them I would do it by Tuesday if I am not better. Tonight I called to let them now we got home okay, and were safe. Dad asked me if I got my foot checked I told him not yet.
I told him tomorrow if it’s bad after work I would go to the Urgent care here and take care of it. Dad said if it was me, you’d make me go no questions about it. I told him Yeah but I am young and spry, I will heal quicker.
Why is it that someone who loves and is so compassionate and concerned about everyone else always the one who gets to die from a horrible things. Why can’t she just be able to die peacefully in her sleep and not have to suffer and be ate away. It’s amazing that she in so much pain but was concerned about my pain which I am positive isn’t even half as bad as what she is experiencing.

Grocery, and more

On Tuesday I went grocery shopping, for us and my husband parents. I was surprised how high the bill was. I am hoping that I bought enough for for his parents and us. I am pretty certain I did but can’t be sure just eat. I really hope I got the serving size right for mom and dad they really do not eat very much.
I decided it would be good to go to Cub Foods, since they have a coupon off on gas when you spend money. When you spend 10$ you get off 1 cent on a gallon of gas at Holiday Gas Stations, it’s great. Normally my husband and I don’t get much over 6 cents because we get our groceries weekly. On Tuesday I got 14 cents off of Gas wow that great but boy I spent a lot of money. I ended up spending 140$, even though I had coupons for things which where on sales.
Now I brought my grocery and more there. I was able to find a tiny grill and a package of stake knives which is something we are in need of. I bought a lot of meet, I had to double my meat up. Here’s what amazed me while shopping for my meat. I looked at the chicken, I make a lot of chicken and turkey. Chicken was more expensive then the lamb shoulders I got, the Lamb was cheaper then the chicken. Okay I am not sure how that even possible because Lamb is normally so expensive. I brought some bison also going to make us bison burgers. I will bring mom and dad what we eat here. If I make lamb I making extra for his parents to. This weekend when we go down I will be putting everything in the cooler and placing ice over it so we can get it safely down to mom and did. The spaghetti sauce didn’t stay frozen all the way.
While at Cubs I got into a conversation with another woman who checked out in the same isle. I had a lot to package up. Let me tell you 144$ worth of groceries got a lot of food. I even got 3 different types of frozen veggies. Not sure why I didn’t just get the fresh stuff but oh well. I also got a few other things we needed. I even got some Potatoes, hopefully after they are made they will freeze and reheat for his family okay. I am glad I like cooking.
I forgot to get some hand soap for the bathroom, so I guess I will have to make a run for that. Maybe I can find something for
blemish acne cream that will be gentle. Low on face wash stuff to. Well I think almost everyone in the world knows what I am going shopping for now. I really hope the price of food doesn’t get any higher then it already is. I am not sure how I will manage feeding my husband and I and his parents if it keeps at a upward spin.

Wake Up!

Wake up, Meow come on pay attention to me. Otis has been very talkative in the morning. He will seat on the floor by my head and just meow. So I grab him and pull him up with me, not 10 minutes goes by he jumps down. So I think good he aught to be satisfied with the attention and should be quiet for a little while at least. Not even 5 minutes goes by and he is meowing at me again. Wake Up Come on play with me. I think it is time for him to be kept up during the day again and maybe he let me sleep.
It has been fairly warm and we have had a few storms. Saturday we where gone all day so maybe it’s paybacks for not being home when I should he thinks I should be. I try to play with Otis as much as possible when I get home and make sure he gets more food if needed.
Today we went swimming for a little while, it was nice and warm. I love our outdoor pool, when I came back Otis was hiding in his little cat thing. But he probably annoyed because when I had my watering jug for the plants I gave him a wet head. He wouldn’t move and well he got wet. I told him to move but he just looked up staying right under my feet. It’s amazing I have tripped over Otis several times and he still hasn’t learned not to stay under my feet. Like the Closet in the hallway that I put our clean towels and some cleaning chemical in. He got locked in there one day for over 8 hrs, and he still was trying to get into the closet today. You’d think he’d learn when he gets trapped this isn’t a place to get into to.
Well at least he don’t play with any HDMI cables on my computers that would make life a little stressful. He does pretty good leaving the cords alone here.

Get out of the Road

I got off early today again. My plan was after work I would run over to Wal-mart, I need a Seat cover, I should have gotten 2 not one but I put it on the site that needed it the most. Tomorrow on my way to pick up hubby I guess I need to go back oh well. When I lift work, it looked like we had a storm moving in. My city is known to flood a lot, it seems pretty hilly and the drainage doesn’t seem good.
I got to Wal-Mart right about the time the storm moved in. So I ran in and decided I would stay for a little while because the color of the Sky made me think not good for driving. Goodness I spent more money then I wanted to, because I was walking around looking for things. Almost spent way to much.
I was right, there was plenty of tree derbies in the roads when I came home. I was driving down one of the side streets because hwy 494 during storms and rain isn’t a pleasant road even if it’s during lunch hour. I took the frontage road I guess would be the best thing to call the road. I got to a place where I had to make a turn or go throw a puddle that was up to the top of the tire on a larger trucker. I have a van, but I am not going to go and drive through a puddle that looks like it could easily stall my van out. I went through one of the car dealer lot, they didn’t mind but everyone was doing it to. On a side note, don’t just follow the leader they might lead you into a dead end. I had a older couple follow me right into a dead end. I should learn how to read that sign, “Dead End” it means you can’t go anywhere but turn around and go back to the next turn. I finally got back on to the road I needed and then go to my turn for another road which leads to my street.
Alright people, don’t bend over and put your head into traffic let the city worker clean out the drain they have cones and clothes to be seen with. A lady decided she had to be in the road cleaning out the drain of the small limb pieces from trees and flowers. The truck before me was hugging the left side of the lane and so was I. After he passed the woman I saw her with her head going further out into the street. Good thing no one missed her, but she not the most unwise person out during this weather.
While driving to Wal-Mart I had a kid decide it was wise to run into a 4 lane road, with traffic coming at him with full speed. No cross walk no nothing just ran across the road. I wounder if children’s life insurance covers kids who run into incoming traffic, when it’s clear that traffic is going, and no crosswalk.

Can’t they make it easier

I got a new entertainment center this weekend. It was great on the showroom floor and didn’t look hard to assemble. We got it at Ikea, and brought it home to build it our selves. It weighted 99 pounds and was the black Tobo entertainment stand. It has 2 glass shelves and 2 doors.
I took everything out and put it in an order, it took me about 3 hours to get this completely together, but I also tore apart our old one which was about to fall apart. It took me quite awhile to get this one built. Almost everything I have gotten from Ikea are challenging to put together. The direction aren’t always clear and there are no stickers on the pieces, which are to be put together so sometimes it’s challenging to know what goes where. I have one of the doors stuck and haven’t figured out how to solve that problem yet, no matter how hard I tugged it didn’t move. I will have to try to figure it out with out taking it all apart of get to it. Why can’t they make it easier and label things like a, b, c and so on or 1, 2, 3 or so on just or even top, bottom, left side, middle and right side, it would help if it was marked some how and I didn’t have to try to figure out a picture which isn’t always clear.
Don’t get me wrong I am very happy with the Entertainment stand and it looks great in the Apartment. It matches the Kitchen table we got, but doesn’t exactly match the coffee table because that’s white, so I guess it really does match okay.
My husband and I looked at several Tv stands and entertainment center. We saw one we liked a little more but our Tv weighed a little to much, but we still had 2 that we really liked alot. I wish they had a couple of Peerless to look at.
We also ended up getting a CD/DVD holder that holds up to 88 DVD’s which is something we needed since I got raid of the old one.
I am happy with it, and it looks great here. It adds something very nice into the living room, that wasn’t their before. This is a nice sturdy piece.

I wouldn’t have thought

Today I got my water bill. Recently my building had to do the water conservation upgrade to our plumbing. I was surprised to see our water bill decrease by like 10$
I wouldn’t have thought that would be possible because showers have taken us at least 10 to 20 minutes longer, getting soap out of my hair is a task now. The dish washer has to be ran at least 2 to 3 times sometimes. Lets see flushing the toilet doesn’t always work sometimes that gotta go at least 3 times. So when I got my water bill, I was surprised to see if was only 19$ and that’s lower by a lot. Now here what surprises me, that if I don’t pay it by a certain day they add over 10$ on to our bill so it ends up being in the 30’s I have noticed our apartment building tends to over water the grounds, which isn’t good. They want to save water but over water the grass. Plus we got a little bit of rain last night so I am not sure we really needed to water the lawn. Maybe they should time it off when it’s going to rain and let nature do it’s job.
All the water from the rain runs off the roof and into garage and there is a bunch of mold down their during the summer, maybe they should get a basement dehumidifiers this might help them control the moister down there where all the cars are parked. During the summer I normally park outside, but during the winter i have to park down there.

Personalize children books

A few months ago, we had a nephew, who my husband and I decided to get a personalized DVD for. Recently we where talking to his sister who was telling us, how neat our nephew thought it was.
I wonder if as a child I would have enjoyed children’s books if they where personalized, that included me in the store, or I would have still disliked reading.
When I started out reading I enjoyed it but as I got older it wasn’t as enjoyable to me. I won’t get into the reasons of why. I think personalized books might help a child connect to the store line better because they are added into the store. I just think this is a really neat idea.
I haven’t read many children books recently because I have no children, but sometimes I have to pick up gifts for young ones. I am careful when selecting gifts for relatives, if I don’t like the parent, I just may decide to get a noise maker for the child. Normally when I get for my nephews, I try to get either books or puzzles I feel they may enjoy.

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