I don’t need help
Sometimes I wonder when my husband is going to learn it not wise to tick me off! We stopped at Cubs because I needed a couple of things. I have a fracture ankle. I will just say by the time I got home I was ticked off and pretty much of the mind set get out of my face because frankly I don’t want to be around you, and I don’t need your help. Shoot he lift me by my self in Cubs to handle all the lifting and carrying so why does it matter if I am doing it at home from the Van to the balcony!
He had put my bible down in the car, he claims it was up, and none of the pages for bent. Well when I saw my bible there it had some of the pages inside of a cup holder and got bunched up. So I told him you bunch up some of the pages in my Bible. He said I was yelling at him but I felt I was in my normal tone. He said if you going to yell at me I am not coming in. I said I am not yelling, so he decided to stand at a wall and feel sorry for his self. I decided I would just get what I needed done in Cubs because my ankle was anyways hurting since he bumped it at lunch with our prayer group.
Wonder when he going to learn that, if I am in pain it’s probably not wise to make me feel frustrated with everything and being in pain I am frustrated already! I have been feeling frustrated with our communication for months now. I love him but sometimes we just don’t communicate well! I got finished in Cubs, and came back out. He didn’t bother on trying to help he just watched me. I told him as far as I was concern he could walk home. If I could have lift him safely with out hurting him physically I would have, because I was in a simply foal mood. I have been feeling a lot of criticism lately.Your voice is to loud, your yelling at me. Your this or your that, top that off with a company who on numerous occasions decided to tell me I have a personality defect. Hmm I don’t know, I know I can get pretty crabby when it comes to feeling my stuff isn’t being handled with care. He should have lift my Bible on my seat where I laid it. When I was done taking off my boat and putting the stupid air cast on I would have placed my bible where I wanted it. I just minded the No I didn’t when he was the one who moved my bible. Well I didn’t lay it their on top or by the cup holders! So in my opinion which I am probably wrong it’s his fault that it got bent a bit! I probably should have looked where it was and moved it! So it’s my fault because I just assumed it was safe where it was.
When I got home I brought everything in the house. On my own. He was seating there in the parking lot trying to tell me but you have a weight restriction. Yes I do, but it’s clear he didn’t care about the weight restriction at Cubs, he was fine with me doing everything on my own. So I can do it on my own now, that’s how I felt. I know how petty can I be. But it just bugs me, what is he trying to look good to our neighbors who pretty much don’t know us. If he really was concerned about my weight restriction he would have came into Cubs and found me, not waited until I was out of Cubs. Now my ankle hurts even more so I probably should have told him, you bring everything in and don’t bother talking to me, and walked away. But Normally when I feel angry and frustrated I take it out on working out but that does no good when I can barely walk. I can’t miss work tomorrow because I need the hours at work.
I feel bad that more often then not when I speak, he feels I am yelling or making a scene even though I am at the same volume as everywhere else. I am so tired of feeling frustrated with communicating verbally. I used to think I was a good communicator but it’s clearly I am horrible at it.
Even at lunch he felt the need to get on me for not saying much in our prayer meeting. Well I just didn’t have anything to add! When I had something to add I spoke up, goodness I need a passport for being allowed not to say anything and for being allowed to say something. I just feel like everything I do today isn’t good enough. Actually felt that way for a while. I will say he lucky he not married to my mom who used to have a tendency of chasing with frying pan to get her point across my thing is yelling. If I don’t feel I am understand sometimes I think raising my voice will help that happen, which it doesn’t.
