kitty food for dinner

Otis is talkative lately. He’s been curious about dad, and what’s dad doing. Otis seems to have accepted my husband dad which is good, probably can sense that he depress or upset… Today we went to church and spend the whole day there then we stopped for gas and then went to the store to pick up some stuff.
I feel feeling a little frustrated with everything right, now. Kitty been meowing a hole lot. Otis seems to think he wants to be heard. I told them I would make dinner after hubby got up from his nap, and Otis decided he have to add his meowing. Guess he telling me he would like cat food for dinner. He got a full dish of food so I know he happy. It seems the older he gets the more talkative he gets.
I will be glad when this month is over. Just one more day.
Dad is thinking he may stay here but he changes his mind every 10 minutes. I kind of need to know what he going to be doing so I can plan my schedule for school better, and spending time with hubby who I honestly don’t wanna spend time with right now.
Tomorrow I will jump on line and look for more job I wonder who long before Otis will meow… I have even looked into some home businessbut haven’t found the right thing there neither.

So I can’t help

I wish bill collectors would take a flying leap on holiday weekends. Take Friday off go shopping do someting other then bug people! Dad and I were eating our breakfast, and chatting, I made us eggs, turkey sausage, and him toast with coffee. We have helped dad a lot, and I have been laid off for quiet a while, so I haven’t been able to keep up with my bills and I have got one person I owe just a little over 400 to, now I want to pay him but shoot I simply can’t. I told them once I got a job I will start sending in money. I will start sending in money as soon as I get a job. Hopefully sooner then later, so I can contact a debt consult and get my medical and hubby medical and this one bill as one payment this way we deal with our debts.
But for me to do this I need to have a job! I been looking and just not been sucessful at finding one. Dad was here when I got the call I hung up, I figured not arguing with the person, would be better for dad. I told him not to worry it’s just a bill collector on a car I had fixed and until I have a job, I can’t do anything. Dad told me to take 150$ from his money when he got it and give them some shut up money. I told him No, because it not right taking from him. It’s not right taking from him, on a fix income. I don’t feel right about it so I told him No, it’s not okay, and we won’t do that. Dad got upset with me, and said So I can’t help you eventhough you are helping me? He didn’t feel it was right, so now how do I make everyone happy, and still do the right thing. I know sending some shut-up money would help but I don’t want to take from dad, because he needs his money. I told him find I would but I am paying it back. He said no and I told him okay, I will pay it back if I see you need it or when you need it. I really need to find a good stable job.
Monday I was called to work for another company for one day, that will give me enough money to keep my cellphone on for the month so that what I will do. When I get ready to send the guy money I will call him and tell him I rounded up 150 for him that what I have and i will work on getting the rest to him some how. 🙂 That’s the best I can do. The hard thing about parents, is they always want to help their children even if it their in law. I don’t know why dad is so attached to me. But I have won my husband family hearts. I want him to be proud of me not helping me out. To be honest I am worried about dad sleeping so much since he been here. I hope he getting enough sleep and being taking a care of well where he is at. Now maybe he woke up with a head ache as a side effect of not smoking. I am proud of him no smokign since he got here. Wow that has to be heard Wendesday evening until now and it’s friday. That’s very good.


I can say I am just not getting anywhere in the job market, and kind of getting tired of all the rejection letters, but I still keep plugging away. Today I sent out yet another letter to follow up on my resume. Okay no big deal, I will keep looking. For the most I am used to getting the same general type of email, or no response at all, when it comes to sending out follow up letters. I will say it was a nice letter but interesting I have never ran into this with any other employeers, so I will give the person creativity points.
The person pretty much told me, they hired someone else.. Okay no intesting there, but they also told me, I pretty much should prosue music, because it seems to be my first love, and one day maybe they hear me on the radio.
I couldn’t help but laugh about it and shake my head… I was in class waiting for our professor to start our class, good thing I wasn’t on abar stools I would have fall off. Yes on my resume I includes my hobbies and music is one of them and yes it is one of my first love but lets face it that was a dream and dreams get broken. I not saying I gave up, I am saying that I have to have a job that actually makes money, because my dream hasn’t came true. Singing in church don’t make it possible, shoot and that an whole other can of worms… Now I do write and use my talents but shoot it a impossible career to get into. My end goal is to eventually get my master in councilling and use my music on the side. In the mean time I need a job. At least today in class I learned something I found interesting. I was told I should change my resume style or customize my resume for each company. Get their attention right away, okay now that’s a little hard.

We expect you

Yesterday my husband and I were talking about what to do about Thanksgiving. It is one of the few Holidays we celebrate, or pay attention too, that not an appointed time. Thanksgiving is one of the holidays I enjoy the most. I love cooking the turkey, stuffing and all that good stuff. This year I will be making some Candy Yams and Stuffing, I am probably not going to do the mash potatoes unless dad would like them. Kind of getting sick of mash potatoes. Having them a lot lately but oh well hubby is a meat and potatoes guy so if it makes him happy let him have it.
Dad had called us while we was in a movie, and after the movie I saw it. Now before we went to the movie we was talking about giving dad a call and inviting him over for Thanksgiving dinner, because it be nice to have him. My husband said we needed to call him this weekend, and see what plans he had. Well after the movie we went and saw and I will say enjoyed, I called dad.
I asked him what was up, and how he was doing. I found out his Insurance has lapsed I have to check her bank sheet from the last account and find out if it was returned to them or if it was taken out and if so why they canceled his car insurance. I won’t be able to get insurance on dad van until the beginning of the month if it’s been canceled. I told Dad we was calling to see if he like to come up to us for dinner, he asked what are you making I told him what my plans are. After about 10 minutes of talking about it, dad tells us well I been asked by the people I live with and I don’t want to tell them no. He didn’t want to upset them because they invited him. Now I am a little bugged by them asking dad if he like Thanksgiving there, before even talking to my husband or I to see if we have any plans with of inviting dad. But I won’t hold a grudge… My husband felt a little hurt and annoyed, and expressed the feeling of “He’s all we have left” Yes dad is all we have lift as far as his side of the family, but we also have Granny. My husband felt family was more important and Dad decision should be easy to pick his family because family aught to come first. Now I know in the past dad hasn’t put the family first when he was drinking and we are worried about him drinking again.
I know dad is hurting because of losing mom, this is his first holiday with out Mom, and it’s going to be hard on him, and frankly I rather have him here and not as a large gathering with a bunch of children since last time they had a large get together dad couldn’t handle it and they called me angry with dad.
After talking to my husband and him expressing some feeling of being hurt by his dad choices, and frustrated with dad. I told him maybe I aught to call Grandma, and have her light a fire under dad ass, Grandma been talking to him since mom dad. Yes his dad is in Grandma age group, but I am not trying to set them up, Grandma is just the greatest person I know to help someone with grief. That friendship for dad came when we was dealing with hospital, and not wanting a psychiatrist deal with dad grief, because they lock him away and take away valuable time to be with mom. I was able to keep dad form doing it and I know granny would be great for him to talk to….
I called granny and explained the situation. I express I was a little annoyed with dad, and that my hubby was feeling hurt by dad picking the people he lives with over the family. My granny told me, tell him “We expect you there”, I was worried being that aggressive with dad would actually cause dad not to want to do anything at all. What are we supposed to say, “We expect you here and we’ll be there at this time because family should come first”. I told granny that I was worried about that approached because wouldn’t he feel we are taking away his free choice. Granny, said then tell him he can stay with his family.. Well that doesn’t work neither when it hurting my husband. I don’t want to hurt hubby. Well after talking to granny for a while, and then talking to my hubby. I told him what Granny had said, and he also agreed with my concerns of being aggressive with dad. Now I know as a power of Attorney, we have some abilities to protect dad, even against his well, but I don’t feel this would constitute as protecting him from himself. Now taking away his checkbook and tell him you not allowed to know any of your banking information other then what you have in the account and if your bills and rent are getting paid. I don’t want him giving out the banking information to anyone not even his landlord live in people. I do not ever want to cross the bridge of having things taken out of that account that should not have been.
My husband and I spoke about what can we say to dad for him to understand, that family should come first. My husband came up with the approach of Dad your all we have lift and we need you. I think this works better because instead of telling Dad he’s doing wrong, it takes the more proactive gentle way with dad. My hubby called back dad, and told dad what he felt, and in the end dad was like I told them we could trade. I’ll see the kids for Thanksgiving, and I can stay here for Christmas. I am glad did that because we do not celebrate Christmas, we do Chanukah and I am not sure how dad will deal with that. Looks like we have dad coming and that what important to us.
I will have to keep a eye on dad and make sure he is safe while living with these people, I don’t have to many concerns and the concerns I have are fairly serious. I don’t think they will physically hurt him, they may lie to people who call for dad to get personal information. I love dad, and I will probably be overly protective of him.

long process

Today I spent most of the day looking and applying for jobs with corps. Some of them I decided it was to much work to apply on line, and to much of my info could potentially be gotten so those I will probably just go to and hand my resume to one of the managers there.
I just got done with a assesement test, which I passed so maybe they will call me and be able to work with me for first shift and no Saturday work if I can get that it would be great, and hopefully part time work too.. I am so tired of looking for a job, and knowning a lot of people are being laid off, even hospitals are laying off now that’s a scary thought. Hopefully nothing will happen that will require staff to be full functioning at the hospitals.
I have been doing horrible at interviewing so hopefully the next interviews I do will be a lot better, I seem to be better over the phone and not face to face. I am going to have to figure out how to improve my self confindence when interviewing. I can’t believe it’s already 2pm, I been on this computer all day, since I got up at 9am. I think I going to have to take a break and start thinking about homework. I know working at night would be a bad decision because I have evening classes and it makes it hard, but one place i applyed at only open till 11pm and if i need to then i might just take a later shift for a few hrs.

Just start over

On Monday my husband and I went with dad to the lawyer, we needed to sign the papers for the Power of Attorney. My husband and I are both his dad power of attorney. When we got there and started driving down, dad asked if we was sure we wanted to do this, I told him Yes someone needs to protect you. Right now it’s more of protecting him form hisself, I personally could shoot him right now. He wrote out a bunch of checks for money he didn’t have. There was a couple of checks messing but no dublicates wrote, that worried me because where are they and who has them.
Dad been writing checks but not keeping account of everything, so at both banks we spent an hour or better, at his main bank, we ended up having to close his account and start a new joint account. Dad will not get any checks, because if he writes them it going to mess hubby and I up seriously, and sorry I have enough to deal with then letting him write checks when he don’t know what’s there. Dad last week told us he wanted us to give him a allaunce for spending each month and asked for what he wanted I am wondering if that will be enough for him each month. Grant it we will pay all his bills, and I will be looking at consolidating his date for him so it all coming from on place. We also need to make sure he protect from other people becuase I feel that some of the activity on the account is from pressure and fear of saying no to someone who was with him.
When we lift I told him I would call the cable company and the pension place for his company. I got no where by 2pm so I told dad he have to go there and change the information. Dad friend took him and started talking about going to the bank, this worried me because I do not trust this person. He’s already claimed to be dad, so tomorrow I might have to call the bank and make sure they do not have the routing number or account number, I do not want nothing going through this account until I see his deposits there and now things are safely in as far as deposits since we closed the account so quickly.
Yesterday I spent a good portion of the day, and talked to the banker becuase we was worried about something going through it went through. I was glad the teller/banker decided the just start over appoarch was better, now I can protect dad. What I do not understand is how come Mediacom is charging his account and they aren’t even in the town he was living, and I don’t think they are where he is at now. I am supposed to be looking for a job but the last 3 days have pretty much been a wash, at least I got homework done but that as easy as finding Anoretix.
I will say being a power of attorney is proving to be a lot of work, but once things get settled it will be fine. My husband and I are doing this because his sister can’t handle the stress, and she wouldn’t follow through with dad wishes. The important thing is knowing what their wishers are when they are in their right mind. Speaking of that I have to start looking for some housing for dad that more geared toward senior living.

Just typing to type

This weekend was long, but good. Friday night we had service and got home stayed up a little to late for getting up early on Saturday.Then Saturday we had a friend over for dinner, that went until 2am. Towards the end of that, I found out I would be working on Sunday to help him out. I am glad, I was able to help him out. Have to admit today I am tired! I had a interview this morning, and for some reason I just am not doing interviews very well. It’s strange I feel like my brain becomes a bubble.
Yesterday was fun and very interesting to say the least, I got to know our friend a little bite better. You know I would have never guessed what he did for a career, he don’t act like the typical type would. He one of the nicest guys I have met and worked with, grant it it was only a day of work with him, but you really learn about a person when you watch them dealing with people.
Yesterday we did the expo over in the city, I have never worked a expo before, neither did he. Now I can’t spell to save my life, I can spell if I have a Computer, but not if I am just writing things down. Now some of the things I had to spell where more of a medical terms, so I told him I am spelling it how I hear it, so it spelled wrong…. Hopefully he hearing the same way as I am, because it wouldn’t be good if he didn’t. We dealt with quiet a few people yesterday. There was a lot of standing, I learned that Ligaments and tendons even when they are not hurting with a normal amount of walking and standing for me, when it increase a lot it starts hurting. I know the my ankle started bugging me because I have only been out of my brace for 2 weeks or so. Never break an ankle, they take forever, it’s not the bones that are still healing.
I have to say I really enjoyed working the expo, because it was a good experience and I had a lot of positive feedback. Plus it got me out of the house and earning a little bit of cash. I have to admit I forgot about eating lunch, because I simply didn’t want to leave him to long and take the chance he be over ran with to many people to help. My technique to keep people there was talk to them until he got down with his consultation. I found it not exactly easy to strike up a conversation. I am not one that normally walks up to strangers I’ve never seen and start talking to them. But overall I think we got more people then we would have had I not struck up conversation with them.
My interview today went bad, or at least I felt it did. I should know in a week if I will get the job, not going to hold my breath but I am going to be hopeful, because it would be a job which would allow me to work with people. It’s for a PCA position, which would be great for what I want to do as far as being a counselor eventually. Hopefully I will graduate from my Bachelor degree and get into my master and then find a good company to work with. Being a PCA will have me working with people and helping them with their daily needs what ever that will be. Depending on each person what type of help they need, sometimes they need help cooking and cleaning and that’s simply sometimes they need help with the more intimate aspects of their daily grooming.

Yet another Interview

While getting ready to head off to the campus, I was going to leave early enough to stop at the bank, and get something to eat like I do every night I have class. I got a phone call from one of the companies I have worked for in the past, and have a interview next week on Monday.
I am relieved but at the same time I am wondering if this job will allow me to not work full-time, so I can take care of the house, school, and family. I hope I get working right away, because I can’t not be working.
Lately I feel like my husband thanks I am superwoman or something because everytime I turn around he leaves he’s dishes where they are at unless I tell him to pick them up. He expects me to deal with his dad stuff, and then for me to talk to him but he never allows me to talk to him so then he goes to someone else who talked to me in the first place. If he wanted to talk to them not me then he should have just simply talked to the person and not told them to call me.
He thinks I cranky and giving him the silent treatment last night. No I was frustrated and it came though my voice not directed at him. I told him I was thinking about trying to do retial or something and he pretty much shot down that idea so I asked him well what am I supposed to do no where is calling me so I need to do something and I can;t be picky.
Today I texted him to let him know I got an interview with the company I applied at a couple of days ago and all he could worry about was if it would help with my counseling master. Well right now no job isn’t going to help me at all, and the type of work it would be I think it could help with the major to some point. First I have to get through my Bachelors in Business then I can move on to my Master program I am pretty sure I can get into a program….
What’s been going on with dad he in the angry part of his grief I understand it and get times are hard. I am the first one people call lately when dad is doing bad things, I don’t mind but I don’t feel I have a husband to speak to and share with because he don’t seem to want to talk. He hasn’t figure out when I say we need to talk about dad or this that I am wanting him to acknowledge, and let me know it okay to talk at that time about what’s happening with his father. I been trying to be careful with him because I know he also lost his mom but I can’t take on everything here it will become to much for me to handle.
Dad is throwing around other people stuff, which means I get called. I explain the best I can what dads doing to his friends. He’s went back to drinking and driving at night when he aught to not be driving at night. On Sunday we will be going down to see dad and it will probably be me to bring up what dad is doing… The bank also wants to talk to my husband and I about dad’s loans I hope they don’t try to make my husband and I pay for it because we can’t pay it off even if we wanted to.

Where’s the Line

Today I decided I would go to the DMV. There was a line there, and I had to wait a little while okay no big deal I was expecting a wait there. While in the line I was debating if I would drive over to the voting place or just walk over after driving home. I decided it was such a beautiful day it be best to walk, anyways I need to lose weight and hey it’s a nice walk and no need to worry about parking.
Good thing the DMV had a ATM because I didn’t realize they don’t accept checks okay fine no big deal. On Thursday I will run to the bank on my way to school and cash my mom check for my B-day. Boy I am bad when it comes to getting checks. well, I renewed my tabs for the van.
I came home parked my van in the garage ran back upstairs and got my MP3 Player. Boy I loved my little insigna it works nicely.
My walk was very nice, it was supposed to rain today but I got my way and was able to walk where I wanted to walk. Wonderful, the ducks are still outside and swimming in the little pond. I never realized how many ponds there where around here. Within less then a mile there are three ponds it wouldn’t surprised me if it wasn’t more then a 1/2 mile. The ponds are fairly small but not to small I wonder if any are natural or manmade. It seems this might be some swamp land or something there are enough grass and plants growing there.
I made it to the voting place, it was a nice walk I got to see plent of ducks. It nice living so close to ponds because it makes walking fun when the ducks are out and about. When I finally reached my place, I was surprised there was no line in there. Almost all of the cubby holes where filled but 2 of them. It was nice not to have to wait in line and get my voting done.
I am glad it done, now here’s the question I have. We had to vote for close to 50 judges, how are we supposed to know how to vote when we don’t know they are running. I haven’t heard anything from any court judge people who are up for reelection or up for a change of pace. It would be great if they would start having them running for office and not have it be like a secret you find out one you get to your voting place.
I won’t say how I vote it’s no one business, I feel people have to vote the way they feel is right and I have no interest in trying to influence anyone.