Just Pass Me By

Dad is having a hard time adjusting, to all of the changes. He thinks it’s mean to say until he learns his way around we do not want him going out a lone. Not to be mean but he is not remembering things and if he gets lost, I worry I or hubby wouldn’t be able to get to him before someone with bad intentions. I feel the need to protect him.
Dad is 86 and a WW2 vet, I try to treat him the way I would want my own parents to be treated at that age. This weekend dad told one of our friends that we was being mean to him, he says it a lot. So I explained to them why I wasn’t leaving him leave by himself. He doesn’t remember things and geesh sometimes it better to say let us go with you, or come with us out places. Lately I been having Dad tell me how to get home, from places. He getting better but still doesn’t know. He can tell me how to get home from about the community college over here, and from Lunds our local grocery store, I think he might be able to tell me how to get home from Cubs our other store. But he thinking about going to the casino by himself and he been there once and doesn’t remember the route of even how to get there, so isn’t it safer for hubby and I to drive him around, I don’t mind doing it. Dad doesn’t always look where he’s going neither which means in the city he could have a accident. I rather see him safe, then see him in a accident. Shoot car insurance is already expensive for him. We have a family plan trying to keep his cost down, he’s paying more then I did on risk insurance when I had no insurance.
There is a community center here that have activities for him, we try to get him involved but it’s all nos, then comments of I feel like I in Jail, Well you wouldn’t feel that way if you took us up on the offer to go out, or go and get involved with community center they have senior lunches, and many activities.
Dad is so worried about those who have taken advantage of him no longer wanting to speak with him. Okay one person I am thinking of took close to 900 if not more from dad, and he worried that she mad at him. She mad because his purse strings are closed to her. He worried about his daughter who honestly should learn to side with her dad on this problem not with this friend of her that a leech. I worry about dad because he so worried about those who take advantage of him, she should be fighting by our side and not yelling at me and my husband. She is very disrespectful towards everyone, and dad don’t even want to be around her. She’s had him so scared once since we living with us to the point of hiding in a dark room. We talked to dad and explained to him what was going on.
Yesterday dad said a lot of stuff that later he felt bad for and didn’t know where or why he said what he said, and expressed fears I want to get raid of him to because he been at 3 places and all three places has been conflict two of which he lift feeling like a failure. I told Dad we wouldn’t get raid of him, and that he can stay her, sometimes we have to place limits it not to be mean or because we don’t want you to have freedom but we do not want you to get lost and have you lost in a bad place and get hurt. He told someone who was a mandated reporter I was being mean and not letting him leave this weekend. She a psychiatrist of some kind, she told me what she does, and does something similar to what I would like to do. She asked me about it what was going on, and when I explained she looked at dad and said you didn’t tell me about that, and dad laughed and said I can’t get away with nothing. By the end of the night I asked if I could have her phone number because there were something I would like to talk and since she been a caregiver she might be able to help me deal with the stuff. I don’t think dad at the place yet where we need to say no more driving but he’s probably close, if he can’t start remembering how to get home form places we go to often, I do not want him driving around, he could end up in TX somewhere. On Monday he has a doctor appointment and I am thinking some of our concerns will be brought up to the doctor about dad. We love dad and don’t want nothing to happen to him.
I know my husband and I are not alone dealing with this but sometimes it feels pretty lonely.

I think, I talk to Otis as if he was a child, instead of telling him simply no, it’s been ouch. Last night I was talking to my dad’s dog sitter and I guess Otis felt I was on the phone too long. He came into the bedroom where I was with my husband because our Dog sitter is a advocate and there have been some things going on, and I was sharing with her my concerns if we have to move. Frankly rent each month has been a challenge and we are worried if they move it up any higher or if we have to find a new place to live, how to come up with rent and deposit the thing is I can’t lose Otis neither. Otis has got me through a lot and well frankly I am not welling to give him up. I will be working part time it’s all I can manage between being dad primary caretaker, a full time student, and a wife with more then enough house work. I love dad but you know when things in life start changing and you have my personality you worry when you don’t try to find solutions. She gave me a lot of helpful insight, and gave my info to someone else.

I was sitting on the bed and Otis came up, so I started petting him and scratching him behind his ear. Otis decided he bite my hand, not hard but hard enough for me to say ouch bad Otis. So I lift him be, and then he bite me again, No Otis that hurts. So I started petting him trying to get him to be happy I guess and he started attacking, okay time to play with kitty but on the bed is not the best place for us to play and I know this we have a air bed and all we’d need is Otis clawing it.

Otis must be feeling attention starve or something because he been doing a lot to get my attention, must need to give him more time.. I should start taking pictures of him being naughty, but I have so many pictures, I wonder if I am going to need a new memory for the cellphone. Well at least Otis has been hiding behind the tv stand