Lane changes

The other day I was driving down one of the major highways from work. It was the noon hour rush which isn’t really a rush. They have been doing a lot of construction on this highway, and doing a lot of work. At first I thought it was just a truck working up head as I got closer I saw a car spinning out of control, on the side of the road. Praise the L-rd she or he stayed on the side of the road in the grassy area and didn’t get into the highway man traffic that would have been a mess and I am sure some drivers would have needed to look for someone like the accident lawyers here in my state.
I drove a little further and saw a car had pulled over, I am wondering if maybe someone bumped into the other and one of them lost control of their car.
There is one thing we need to remember about construction and lane changing. Lane changing is not always easy especially when people get into that lovely blind spot. I have learned to give at least 10 to 15 more minutes.

Graduation day

Yesterday was a pretty good day, except I forgot to feed myself before the ceremony, but it was over by 130ish so it wasn’t to bad. We had a couple of interesting speakers and I was surprised at who the keynote speaker was it was a republican congressman. When I was told it was a politician I have to admit I was worried he’d be a politician that I wouldn’t want to listen to but I have to admit I think the congressman did the 2nd best of the day. I liked our student speaker, she was adorable to say the least.
What I can’t get my name isn’t that hard, but yet everyone says it ondrea, it’s Andrea, but goodness, every one always says on-dray-ah, never and-ray-ah which is how my husband suggest I spell it to get it right. But I guess it got said wrong again oh well, worst things can happen. Plus I am sure I miss say people names all the time too.
I have 3 and 1/2 classes to go and then I will get my diploma, then continue on with a master. I am so close to being done, I am glad but at the same time a little nervous. I am still disappointed in my mom for not coming, but I will have to forgive her and learn I can’t expect her to keep her word. Kind of need to be like a pond pumps and filter out the things which causes disappointment.

Still not doing homework

Good thing I don’t need to get this done before Sunday or I’d be in trouble. I guess I am just really bother by something going on with dad. I have been told by several people who I have shared with that this is end of life. Not necessarily today, or this week but within a Year to 2 years. Dad has memory problems he has Alzheimer and dementia. Lately dad been telling me mom been visiting him, she’s been sitting on the coach talking to him, about when he ready to go home. I know some of this is due to depression and sleeping more then being awake so he probably confusing reality with dreams. He has a couple times confused me with other people, this doesn’t bug me to much.
The other day I came home and he had told me I been home for an hour. Well I had just got in and stopped at the grocery store before coming home. He told me he saw me wearing my long skirt, okay I wear long skirts but I know I can’t be in two places at once. I wonder if dad was dreaming or actually awake and seeing things. The other day after he came home and went to his room, I found him sitting on his bed talking to someone who wasn’t there. He was looking at the coach and actively appearing to listen, and talk back to the person. I don’t know how to respond so I just walked by and let him be. Now I don’t have water that comes from the refrigerator if I did, I would think about changing the refrigerator water filters to make sure nothing was causing him to see things not really there. Maybe we have a Angel or he’s speaking to ghost which to me is a little more scary then an Angel. I am not scared of Ghost and now they exist, but talking to them about passing away well that’s a little hard to deal with.
I watch my dad die from cancer, watch hubby mom die from cancer, and now it appears I watching dad die from something just about worst then cancer, I think it just as bad. The hard thing is what dad has is taking him away, going to cause him to live in the past and not even realize the present. I know this will get worst overtime, and I know as a primary caregiver both me and my husband and going through a lot of things. Things we probably need to talk about, because it not healthy just leaving it fester and wait until it all explodes.
Dad sometimes gets so cranky, mean and unkind, he gets simply hard to deal with. The other day I got so upset with him, and went to the bedroom just to keep from saying anything to him I’d regret later. I know I shouldn’t let him make me cry because it really not him saying it it’s his illness, but it still stings and hurts sometimes.

I aught to get homework done

I aught to get homework done but I can’t seem to concentrate. I have so many things on my mind right now. I graduate this weekend from college, and have a couple of class to complete then I will start my masters. I am worried about dad and something which have been said to me by friends and family who have been there done that type of thing. It’s been a rough year and I stuck with college, everyone must think I haven’t had to give u anything because everyone acts like I can complete everything on my own. I have a learning team assignment due by Sunday and a individual assignment due by Monday. I will complete both of them, and be just fine.
I simply feel stressed out and alone lately. I know my husband is there but I can’t really share a lot with him because then he becomes burdened and worried, and it bad enough that I am worried. I guess if I was really honest I don’t feel he been very supportive of me over the last year, he claims he is but I just don’t feel it. Even though I tell him no to cooking dinner it would be nice if he offered it once in a while so I don’t feel like everyone expects me to do it all, because then I choose to do it myself and it on me not on him. Not like skipping a few meals would hurt either one of us but I do it more for dad. Right now if it was just me and hubby than I’d let him go hungry. Maybe I aught to look into clinicallix, I been losing weight but not half as fast as I want to but having late night snacks don’t help, neither does skipping meals.
Maybe I feel much the way I do because of my mother, who told me she be here for graduation but then decided I wasn’t important enough. I have always tried to get my mom favor and her acceptance and make her proud but you know it just simply isn’t going to happen. My mom will never be proud of me, shoot she even told me as a teen she wishes she didn’t have me. Mom and I have healed from the past but she still lets me down, maybe i am still expecting to much from her.
My grandma was going to try to come but her health will not allow her to, which I understand and honestly it doesn’t hurt me. I know when I go down to Illinois and visit her and my uncles, we can celebrate it together, and I know she wanted to come. She feels bad, I wish she could but she can’t. I don’t know if dad will feel up to it.
It feels like hubby would rather not be there. He already offered to work on Saturday for our congregation, after Rabbi found out we’d be at the other building. Hubby claims he did it to get Rabbi to think about other options, Rabbi pretty much told hubby he would not survive it. Tonight hubby comes home and tells me Rabbi wants him at the History Theater at 530, no later. Okay that’s fine it’s over with plenty of times. But then my hubby continues on talking about it and stressing how it important for us to be there at 530. This to me felt like him saying he rather be there then with me. Hmmm maybe graduating from college isn’t that big of a deal, and I am making it a big deal which it seems to be clearly not that big of a deal to people close to me.

What city you live in

Okay I know dad has to be getting sick of this question, he still doesn’t know what city he lives in and it upsetting his grand child. Dad has lived in Southern MN for most of his adult life so I don’t really expect him to remember it but he needs to know at least his address which he don’t. Dad has been struggling with memory for a long time, I don’t think being badgered about our address or city by his grand child is going to make him happy or feel good. I love dad but it’s concerning watching him go through this, his memory is worst than >bounce houses at least those the children stay inside the houses for the most, plus they are kind of fun.
Hmm I am listening to the news and now someone wants to sue a Casino, how stupid. I am sorry you go into a casino and lose your paycheck whose fault is it. Honestly people we need to start taking responsibly for our actions and stop blaming everyone else on your short comings. If you decide to flush your money down the toilet it’s not the casino fault, it’s your fault. Yes, I go out to the Casino, and I limit myself from $5 to $20 a time, and if I am winning I take half my winnings and place it in a pocket and not touch it. I go home with about 90 percent of what I win when I have a good night at the casino. So sorry buddy get a life and control your own habits.
Dad got him self into trouble with the local casino here we are not going to sue them because of his own stupidity before hubby and I step in. We are going to deal with dad irresponsibilty and tell him to suck it up. He gets an allowance each week for gambling.

Not right

Well, I am not a political person although this post will sound fairly political. I am not very happy with the IRS grant it part of it is my husband fault, but seriously more there fault then his. I would like to know how they expect my husband to provide for his family, when they take away his paycheck. So how in the heck do they expect him to pay rent and buy food with just 100 bucks I am ticked off at that. He has told them many times he is financially not able to, he the primary person to cover everything because his wife is a full-time student and helps care for his aging father, plus my husband is studying to go into the ministry and works for our congregation. Now I am not complaining at what Rabbi paying my husband because shoot it’s enough to live off of for the most, and well I work part time and can help with some of the utilities and dad helps too. So we have been making our ends meet, not easy grant it but I think it will improve after I get my masters.
I am sorry but I do not think the government or any branch of the government should have the right to get into peoples checking accounts with out their permision and the government responsiblity to protect it’s people not harm them by taking away their money which they need for surviving.
We would have been ***** if it had not been for our Rabbi giving us a loan to take care of rent but hey he can’t do that every month. I am sorry but this is wrong, it not right. My husband is going into a career which well frankly don’t pay you enough to do anything, other then pay your daily expenses. I am fine with that, but I am not fine with the IRS taking money which my husband needed.
When I get a job after my Masters is done I will need to get insurance for the family and get both me and him term life insurance rates, because him in the minstry means I need to cover some of it.
My husband contacted tax masters and I guess they feel they can help him for $2000 dollars in payments, I am not sure how we will do that. We might need to figure out a way to keep hubby money so the IRS can’t take anymore from him, because we can’t make it with half his income, shoot we barely make it with his income. Grant it I guess our date nights are going to be gone for a few months, because we won’t be able to afford to go out, unless I pay and I need to save money up for a car. So I have to keep my budget very tight. My van about to die, so I have to do something, before I can’t get back and forth to work. But I guess if we need the money I will sacrifice the savings for meeting the needs of the family.
I know they can’t go after me because I am a innocent spouse but now we need to get him off the joint account so we don’t lose dad’s money. Don’t get me start on what I think of the health care plan of our lovely democratic government, I am sorry but they shouldn’t get to decide who gets to have life prolonged and who doesn’t. Their health plan is not wise, and I think we be better off staying with private insurance.

What’s knocking in my Air conditioner

Something in my AC oh no. Well I guess I can’t sleep in back it keeps knocking. I am going to need wrinkle creams with how busy this week and I am so tired today. Not sure why, maybe it being woke up everyday before I really wanted to get up. When my nephew came over I asked him to check if anything could go in there, I was worried it might be a bee or something like that. Nope nothing can get in there, so what knocking at the Ac, it took us a couple minutes to notice a woodpecker decided it would be good to put a couple of holes in my wall, hmm I wonder what in there that attracting the woodpecker because if it termite it could be bad. I guess I will need to let management know about it because they might want to know they got bugs living in the wall. That probably the only reason it coming to the balcony. I have plenty of plants but those have bugs right where it can be got easily. Well if a woodpecker was out there that would explain why Otis did not want to leave the window this morning he probably was thinking How can I get out there and catch him.

My phones ringing

Why’s my phone ringing it’s still dark out. Nope it’s not ringing. I guess I am dreaming about ringing cell phones unless someone else has T-mobile and has their phone set to the same ring tone. Well at least I am not dreaming about eating because then I would really need to get some apidexin. I was dreaming all night that the stupid phone was ringing it finally did at about 10am and I wasn’t sure it was my phone sure enough it was.
I hardly got my homework done today. But I am a head of schedule next step is finishing my learning team assignment the individual assignment is all done. I pretty much need to check the grammer and stuff like that so it as good as completed. Now the learning team assignment will not be pleasant, I have 3 more classes after I am done with this one, I can’t wait.

You can come but you will be working

Good thing I have a nephew to help me out. He wanted to come over today while his dad was at work. I figured it would be okay, I will need to do homework tomorrow most of the day and Friday. My nephew helped with cleaning the house last night which was a great help because hubby doesn’t like to clean so having him freed up a lot of time. Today we decided we’d rearrange the living room, which was nice. He didn’t thank we’d be able to move the hideaway bed it’s not like your normal piece of office furniture, it fairly heavy I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to move it but I was, when I tried. So both me and him got it moved, and steamed cleaned the living room. Moved the tv stand, desk, and printer stand, and 2 smaller book shelves.
There was no complaining other then it’s hot in here and the AC is not blowing out cold air. He wanted to clean out the filter and I figured he could do that if he like. Boy that AC is blowing out nice cold air and it’s colder in here. Next I need to get the bathroom, hallway, laundry, and dad’s bedroom done and maybe this week the master bed room. The apartment needs help.
I wonder what the rest of this week will be.