Just Pass Me By

My older sister and her hubby live on the west coast. I forgot the time difference over there, wasn’t thinking about it. I had a lot on my mind. My sister told her hubby what hubby and I were going through with dad, who right now having a lot of joint pain in his legs. His dad has the same thing, and I told him you and my sister are the only ones I know like me, that are the child experiencing it not just the spouse. This weekend I found out there was a couple of other people in the same situation as hubby and I and to be honest it made me feel less alone.
I was talking to sis hubby about needing to start thinking about making things more protective of dad, because I am worried in one of his state of confusion he going to walk out in the cold winter night and something bad might happen. He told me something, along the lines of if something happens to dad it’s not your fault if he leaves while your sleeping or your hubby sleeping. You have done your best to care for him. Pretty much told me what ever happens to dad isn’t my fault, it because of what he going through, when it time for dad to pass, I already know no matter how good I was to him I am going to find blame or at least look for it in myself. I worry about dad sometimes when I am gone because he doesn’t take care of himself well, and can only be gone for 5 hours at a time, no longer, because he can’t be lift alone. It was nice talking to him about it, because they understand the sacrifices made by hubby and I when others don’t get it in the same way.