Not a good start to the week

This week has started out not pleasant. On Monday I woke up to find the bathroom a little wet, and my clothes on the floor that some how got under the sink very wet and stained. My favorite shirt some how got stuffed under there and got stained. Well I open the cabinet to look at what was going on, i figure maybe dad didn’t keep the water in the sink and then found out I had mold down there. Okay not good there water there too. So now I got a mess to clean up and maintenance to call. They came and told me they be here Wednesday but came Tuesday which meant I hadn’t had a chance to kill the bleach because I needed to run to the store for a couple of hours. So they left me a note, telling me I didn’t get things done that I needed to get done. Okay First if you tell me you will be here on Wednesday and change your mind and come on Tuesday don’t be surprised if not everything is done.
After Maintenance done I had to leave for guitar lessons. I was running late, but wasn’t to worried about it because it would be easy enough to get there close to being on time. Well I got to the stop sign out side by our driveway entrance and exit. There was a school bus there who had came at a bout the same time as me. I didn’t see the red lights flashing, so I turned left and he got mad at me. Fine, okay not good. I got home and things just didn’t seem to go well for the rest of the day.. I should have just buried my head in the sand on Monday.

Your mood affects me too

I have started realizing when dad is in a bad mood, and it affects me. When he is being negative I find it is hard not to be negative. I sometimes instead of speaking with him I go and I play a few on line games. I do a lot of avoidance. This week has been very hard for some reason; dad will one minute be in a good mood and be positive then suddenly his attitude changes. He becomes angry and loud, I do not handle loud very well with men. It seems that dad will be more aggressive with me some days when my husband is home, and he might be fine during the day, other days it aggressive with me until my husband comes home. We have not decide to no longer give him his testosterone shoot because they feel that could be causing the trouble, I wonder if
hgh does the same thing on children who use them. Today dad is coloring and seems to be in a good mood, he actually wanting to stay up. Not really to visit but to just be up which is a good things. I can’t believe he is already wearing his long underwear and trying to tell me it was snowing yesterday. It was raining and about 60F, yes it was raining that yet. I like to know why he thinks its freezing and snowing outside, when it well above freezing. It is funny he tried telling me that my hubby was scraping his windows to get snow off them in the morning. Hubby parks in the garage until it does get bad outside then he has me park down there to protect me from not breathing.

Anyone got a belt

You read right anyone got a belt, I can have. Last week I made a trip to Wal-Mart and bought a couple pairs of jeans. They fit me a little snuggly so i figured they would last while losing wait. At work I am working with Toddlers and boy I been doing a lot of lifting, tipping and what not, my stomach is getting a work out. Good thing I decided against trying weight loss products, because now I am to active. Well I washed the jeans this weekend, I did not dry them because I did not want them to shrink on me, so I hung them up. Yesterday I put on my new pair of jeans, and realized oh wow these are really loose, I mean very loose. I didn’t think anything of it well yesterday I spent the whole day pulling up my pants. I think I will need to get a belt to help me hold up my pants. Can’t turn them back to the store, because it hard to explain I tired them on, they felt snuggle now they almost full off. I am not losing weight rapidly, I still a chunk chunk, but I am starting to tone down some.

You shouldn’t cry

Yeah well easier said than done some days. I am not one who will often cry but dad is the one who can make me cry. I know he has told me not to pay any attention to him when he being negative and rude. He has been more aggressive this week, which is why I am blogging about it. I need to talk about it somewhere, and I am sure my hubby has enough stress then to hear me complain about everything. Today dad is not happy because I told him we was not going to casino tonight because of how he had treated my hubby and I. He remembers what he did that night. It seems when he gets his testosterone shoot he becomes more aggressive, I know it probably good for him and makes him not need any metabolism pills which I wouldn’t put him on it. He put on a little weight since coming here and I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I don’t think it is good neither. Dad eats less than we do. He always is worried that my hubby and I cannot wait for him when he is eating because he eats slow. We have told him countless time eat at your own pace we are not in a hurry. My hubby and I eat very fast. We can’t slow down our eating, I am not sure why but it just never works I drink a lot more when I eat slowly.
I offered to sit down with dad and color with him, after walking the dog who needed to go potty. I don’t think its fair to her that she gotta wait longer then she should to go outside. Dad is simply grumpy today, and I am doing my best to keep him in a good mood. He right now taking a couple hour nap. Its amazing how dad remembers he didn’t want to go to Casino on a Thursday night and then act rule rude with us, and after being told then you don’t get to go to casino at all this week that he thinks we would take him tonight. I wonder if he doesn’t remember his actions on previous days.

Not alone continued

Since dad decided he had to be verbally abusive towards me yesterday I decided not bring him to casino. I feel bring him to Casino after he been rude or crude is only reinforcing his bad behavior towards me. Now I understand he doesn’t always understand what he is doing, but sometimes I believe he knows what he is doing, because he still remembers when he made me upset. I don’t even have to show him I am upset I can go into hubby and my bedroom and dad will remember a day or two later that he done something to hurt or upset me. So here is my question, Alzheimer’s takes away the mind so why is dad remembering small things, but not other things. Why can’t dad tell who I am, when he knows that I been upset about something he done during one of his episodes. Alzheimer’s is a horrible thing. There are days he talks to his dead wife as if she was there. There’s been days that he thought I was someone else from way back when before I was even thought about in my family. I do not know how to deal with some of the things he says to me, or about being a Jewish person. Sometimes I know I just have to ignore him because he just does not know any better. Just like with the medicines I have for me I have to keep them from where he can easily find them because it’s not like their
diet pills that work, they are meds that can interact badly and dad has a habit of taking the wrong meds if I am not careful. I have to make sure his meds are set out every week which is easy enough and then everyday to give him his meds. I can not leave his meds where he can get to them because he forgets he has already taken them for the day.
I somedays feel very alone in dealing with dad and dealing with the sudden mood swings. My question is are sudden mood swings normal for this condition.

Not alone

I will say dealing with a aging parent is one of the most difficult things for a family to do. Dad has Alzheimer’s and Dementia. This is one of the worst things to watch a person suffer from, I have watch family members die from cancer, now I am watching my husband dad suffer from this, and I know this will sound bad. Sometimes I think cancer is a lot kinder then Alzheimer’s, cancer takes you fast yes it is painful and hard and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Alzheimer’s on the other hand takes away your mind and your personality. It changes a person to something their family would have a hard time recognizing. It causes the person who suffering from it to live in the past and confuse reality with what happen in the past or their dreams. In many ways dealing with dad is like dealing with a child. Dad lives with my husband and I. We love dad and care for him, sometimes he pushes buttons and is ugly to us. There are days dad has no clue who I am or who his son is and this is hard to deal with for everyone involved.
Last night we are not sure who he thought my husband was but what dad was saying made little sense at all because we never go where dad said we did and have no interest in going there. Dad has told me things like my hubby took me bowling and wouldn’t let me bowl. He was convince that his room was turned into a bowling alley. There are night when he wakes up and thinks he needs to work the early shift, and boy its hard to get him back to bed. These are not the hardest things to handle.
The hardest thing to handle is when I am at church with my friends, how he will lie to people. He will tell them he not being feed, or we leave all hours of the knight or I do not take care of him good enough. I can’t tell you how many times people have wanted to know what was going on in the house because he feels the need to lie about the household when he wants attention. I have noticed this happens more when I am talking to other people, sometimes I can not talk around dad with people because people want to talk to me privately. This is understand able. What I do not understand is why he feels the need to make me look like an orger. What’s an orger don’t know how to explain it but in games they big ugly monsters. I know many people at my church now I would never harm dad, and we put dad before us. If dad doctor says he needs
hgh supplements, and he had no money, we would go out and take our money for him and get him what he needs. He goes to the casino once a week unless he been mean and verbally abusive.

It worked

The other day I posted about the brats next door yelling at my dog. Well the other day I took shadow out for her walk, she was going potty outside, and the little girl tells yells at her. “Bad dog”. I turned around and told her that dog isn’t bad you’re being bad for yelling at us. Now be quiet. She went in and cried to her mom, the next walk I had shadow on the little girl said nothing, she don’t talk to me anymore. Which is somewhat funny, that one simple sentence would get her to cry. Oh well, not what my intentions was it was more to get her to stop screaming at the dog. Shadow is not very timid unless someone makes a loud noise and once that happens shadow will not go potty for 5 to 10 minutes or maybe not at all depending on how scared she gets by yelling. Shadow is a good dog but lately she been a little pill. She loves greeting people, but she likes trying to talk to them too and this sometimes worries people and I understand that. I need to get some
cheap printing for all the pictures of the dog and cat I have here. Hubby got quiet of few of her doing her business, those one can be deleted.

Just get it done

Don’t get me wrong I love my husband and think he is bright. He a very intelligent man, but has a bad habit of procrastination, this stresses me out, especially when it deals with financial problems. There are some things that procrastination does not bug me bad, but when it comes to family things or school work it just not what I want to do. Yep you guessed it his the procrastinator and I am the lets get it done with and deal with it, because then later we do not have to worry. I told him until he started his work I was not going to do mine because I am annoyed with having to give him things more than once. If I keep letting him do it to me I will have to keep compiling what he needs until he finally gets it. Well I do not have time to be wasting and what he needs to do they require as much information if not more than reminded him last night that he needed to let me know when he started and he yelled at me because he was already under pressure because he didn’t complete something he should have and now he under a deadline. I don’t think I was adding pressure because he told me he had started it, and was trying to get a idea of where he was at on it so I knew when to get my crap together. I am not going to redo it again in 3 months. I done it twice now and do not want to do it a third time because he has a habit of waiting too long. I do not have time for that I am trying to run a household here, and he could make it a little simpler. He thinks he the only one stressed, he not the one home all day caring for his dad, and get the brunt of crap when dad don’t get his way. Now dad has been doing a whole lot better on his new meds and isn’t as bad as he was a month ago. So caring for dad isn’t too bad but it does get hard.
The thing is if he needs help all he has to do is ask me and give me what needs to be completed and I might be intelligent enough to help him with it. I file my own taxes and this if i have everything wouldn’t be to hard to do.

Do pets ever learn

I would like to know how many times Otis needs to be just about squish to learn walking under my feet is not a good plan; or hiding in places where I might decide to close because it is in the way. Since I know the cat will hide behind my not so modern furniture if I move it I have to look behind it, it’s amazing how he can fit behind a space almost smaller then his body. I guess if his head fits it, he can fit his body into the space. Last night I just about tripped over him when I got up, he gotten into a habit of sitting right next to my chair almost in front of me. If I am not getting ready to walk on him, I am trying to lay my lap top on him. He meows at me for that, well what he expects if he laying right where I normally keep the computer when not in use.
Shadow isn’t too bad her thing is to try to get in your lap when you have the computer there. Then if you do sit with her she somehow manages to do something to make typing challenging or closes out documents that are open.

Time for another art store run

Dad is now out of his coloring stuff, so now I will need to make time for a trip to Michaels. I found that the paint by numbers did not go well for us during the summer it was to warm. The paint on the brushed dried to quickly and when I had the AC on it dried just as fast, because of the location of A/C. Yes in Minnesota, we have days in the morning you need the heater on and in the afternoon you need the AC. I hardly use it if my hubby had a choice he would use it anytime it got over 80. I don’t do it until it gets close to 90 or better or the humidity is very high. Dad enjoys coloring those fluffy pictures, and does pretty good. I wish dad would realize that there is no such thing as a mistake on coloring those, because his look pretty. Coloring seems to help dad feel well and I need to get something for him soon to do.
He wants me to attempt drawing freestyle but that simply not my cup of tea. I can do many artistic things but drawing is not one of them. I could decorate a foreclosures and do okay at it. I could decorate the apartment and do well at it but we never started hanging things up until recently.

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