How many nos before a yes

I have heard more Nos then Yeses lately. I really need 1 yes that all. I am hoping I can find my internship soon. I have been looking, it’s a lot harder then finding a good pair of scrub pants. Clinical counseling degrees are a lot of hard work, but it’s a lot more when you go to school on line. I am in a fully accredited school but the state I live in is very committed to the local universities. I have three I am waiting on and hoping for the best and still looking. All I know if something doesn’t happen soon for me I might need to consider something else, but I don’t feel like losing all my credits. I only have 5 more classes after this quarter.

I wonder

Pretty soon we will be adding a new cat, to the family. Well new but not new. He found his away here a couple of months ago. He interacts really well with the dog. He interacted with Otis through the screen and has done well with it. I am not sure how it will be once he can come inside. I worry a little bit because Otis is older, and he not gonna be fighting with no one. He pretty much a sweety, it seems the two cats have similar personalities so that could be a good thing. Blue the stray will do a small meow that almost sounds like a pur he is not aggressive at all.
The other day he followed my husband and I like a dog would but decided he wanted to play catch me if you can. It was quiet funny but I worried about him actually following to far away form the apartment where there are busy roads. I don’t want him getting ran over. He was gone most of the night last night and finally made it back on the patio at around 4 in the morning. Hmmm I got attached to him. Not sure why but this cat taken a piece of my heart. He not like most strays, very friendly but he was abandoned. He loves attention. Sucks it up like a sponge.

Be happy

Well sometimes we just think to much about everything. I try to relieve stress but between homework and other things I can’t play my guitar but i think that would make some of us more happier then we’ve been lately. Dad would probably try to tell me how to use my guitar correctly because earlier he tried to tell me how to clean up the living room, seriously I am 35 years old I don’t need to be told how to clean up, I been doing it long enough.
I miss my guitar that back in MN i will be glad when I get it back because there some things in there that have certain cords and a couple of songs I wrote in it. So it be nice to get it back soon.

What are you talking about

I never spoke about any rocks, or any new pharmacies. Well I figured out the pharmacy but not the rocks. I am taking neuroscience and had to do a mini test on different drugs and was talking to my husband about it. So I am pretty sure my father in law missed understood what I was talking to my husband about. Today he was talking to me about rocks and what was I talking about last night. Huh what are you talking about I never talk about rocks. Now I did say that I was waiting for one of my stray cats to bring me a dead mouse or bird. Not that I want one but sometimes cats like to give unwanted presents to their human friends. He already taken to spraying me, yeah time to bring him to the vet and have the vet take care of him.
Dad been looking for arguments lately I think it’s just the Alzheimer and dementia not sure if the increase on meds have helped any. Doesn’t really seem like it. Yesterday he decided to get mad at my husband for telling him to bring his walker to the car door and he’d take it in a minute. Dad decided he was gonna slam his walker into my car. Well i got annoyed with him and told him just because you don’t want to do something doesn’t give you a right to damage my car. He got mad and tried to say he was gonna stay home, well he doesn’t get a choice on somethings. Saturdays is one of the few days he can socialize so we sometimes make him come with us. He likes everyone where we go but, when in a bad mood he takes it out on everyone yesterday at least he didn’t do that to us.

Dealing with it

So we have to deal with it each day as it comes. We can’t change dad. I hate increasing his medicines but sometimes it’s important to review and try to adjust. I am just hoping we will not have a repeat of the last time of adjusting his meds, it’s not like getting a friend the perfect volleyball gifts. Adjusting medicines can have different effects on dad. We need to deal with some of his aggression because it’s hard to deal with, I don’t want him to be catatonic, because that worst than aggression. I want him to be happy, and more willing to do what he needs to. I do not want to have to fight him to get him into the bathtub. You know how annoying it is to have to tell him 10 times you need to take a bath, after the water has been ran and is getting cold. One of the things he does is go into the bathroom but not even use the water, comes out completely dry, and not even smelling clean. Somedays I just pick my battles and let him get away with it. Like today I am letting him get away with it, I do not have time to argue with him, this close to the Sabbath starting. I got dinner to make, discussion question to look at, and a shower to take. But I also wanted to talk about this stuff. I know there are a lot of people affected by Alzheimer and dementia. I know that just taking it one day at a time, dealing with things as they come is good. It is also hard especially since I am more of a doer type person.

My husband is indirect I am very direct with him. The things I will not argue with dad about is drinking enough water, so he does not distrait because bring him to the ER for deterioration is not fun. If it not something that will be life threatening I try not to argue to much. It hard with the bath, and I really do not want my husband or I needing to sit in the bathroom with him watching him to make sure he actually takes his bath!

Deal with the now

Sometimes it hard to remember to simply deal with the now with dad. He doesn’t remember things, so telling him I just told you that, or we talked about this already only causes frustration for everyone involved. Yesterday I talked to the doctor about his behaviors, and some of the struggles in the home. I was shocked when his doctor did not know what Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy was, but I guess it wouldn’t work anyways because of dads conditions and he probably can’t learn new things. So it’s up to my husband and I to prevent or notice the warning signs he about to be aggressive with the animals. His doctor advice was to give away the animals well sorry no can do. It would be bad for shadow dad’s mental health dog. She already has separation anxiety which took forever to resolve with that dog, not gonna change it up on her again that would just be unfair. It’s easier to just put her away when dad in a bad mood. Otis my cat, not giving him away I’ve had him for 15 yrs, he been through to much crap with me to just give him to someone else. Otis will hide but I can always put him in his kitty carrier when dad is being a turd to the cat. So dealing with dad moods have to just be dealt with as they come. When he in a good mood, then we take that when he not in a good mood we handle it by way of prevention, or safety.