Just Pass Me By

My hubby was adopted, and this weekend I have to meet his mom. I already met his half sister. I really liked her when we first met her; she is very kind and giving. We meet her husband too, and her dad. I was very impressed with her family, because they are all a great group of people. Don’t ask me if they had any door chimes I have no clue, the door was pretty much open before we could even try anything. We went down for the oldest baptism. Even though the hotel stay was not good the visit was great. I was able to relate to his mom, and thank her for having him. It was a hard thing she did and took a lot of courage for a woman her age, so it shows the strength she had and has.
So over all this weekend was fun and it was nice meeting everyone in his family. I am even proud of shadow, she got along great with her dog.

Today one of the brats was yelling at the dog again. She was calling the dog bad dog, so I turned around and told her, “That dog isn’t doing anything wrong, so leave her be.” The dog was simply going potty and well she would be a bad dog if she did it indoor. I do not understand why parents can’t teach other kids to leave people alone and mind their own business.
Then again what do I expect they are always yelling in the hallway and if it keeps up I might need to report it to management because enough is enough. I mind my own business and try to be nice to people who I leave around and I clean up the dogs miss no complaints at all. I also clean up after other people animals, so being yelled frustrates me. I was never allowed to yell at anyone that was an adult as a child. My mom would not have put up with that behavior for two minutes.
The only time I was allowed to yell was in I was wearing kids costumesfor Halloween or when I was in danger and there was a need for me to get help.

Let me start by saying sorry if this offends anyone who Muslin, but I am getting frustrated with some things that are happening when I walk my dog. I live in a building where dogs are not allowed without special circumstances. We have a mental health dog for dad, we had to fight to get her here. Now what I would like to know from the Muslims is what is best having a dog that your father in law, whose 88 in a few days to help him be mentally stable. This is the last dog him and mom got together, so taking the dog away is like taking something his wife gave him and one of the only things he was able to keep. So should I seriously take away his dog! Because someone religion tells them it bad to have a dog. Sorry G-d created Dogs too, and I bet G-d loves his creation even if they are unclean! I get it I know dogs are not considered a clean animal at least not to eat. I am not eating her, and she is not going to last in the wild so it would be wrong to abandon her. I am sorry if you moved to this country you have to expect some of our beliefs are going to be different and you cannot make someone else follow your rules.
What gives you the right to scream at me or my dog who have not done anything to you. I keep her on a short leash when I know someone out who Muslim because I do not want the dog jumping on the person. When asked by a child who I know is Muslim I tell the child you need to have your parents tell me it is okay. I am considerate of your beliefs, to a point where I can meet my dad needs yet you’re not considerate to my dog or me.
So I ask what is best take away my hubby father’s dog because someone religious belief. I might as well hand dad a box cutter and tell him here play with this, I mean taking his dog would be the same results. I wouldn’t give him a box cutter to play with, so why would I take away his dog. It his last thing he has from his wife of 55 years. How would it feel if you lost something your wife or husband gave you that was the last thing they gave you and someone from a other culture came to you and told you, you can’t have it or always screamed when you had out your dog. How would it feel if you was in my shoes. It takes forever for me to calm the dog, once she scared because someone screamed at her. When that happens and hubby has her the dog doesn’t calm she just wants to come back in to me and dad.
Yes I have grown attached to the dog, it hard not to grow attached to something when you feed it, groom it and take care of it’s needs.
Now I do want to say thank you to a few Muslim who have actually took the time to ask me. Why I am breaking the rules, and understanding when I explain to them it for my father in law. I am not mad when I get asked question and explain why. This doesn’t bother me it’s the scream and rudeness that bugs me.
When dad did not have his dog at first when living here, he often talked of killing himself. Since the dog been here he hasn’t spoke about killing himself and giving up, unless he trying to piss us kids off. We got to the point of hiding things where he could hurt himself, so I don’t know maybe I am frustrated with people being rude and not taking the time to find out why.

Some days we have to treat dad like a child. I understand he likes the casino, and it can be fun. I would have loved to leave him stay and play but no change of clothes. Dad sometimes loses control of his body. I understand this but he cannot sit in it. Dad when he felt he might need to go potty decided, to wait a little too long, and had a accident. When I told him then we need to go home and come back. He told me no and tried yelling at me. I texted my hubby who was in the potty and told him, what had happened. He came out and told Dad either we leave now, and come back tonight or tomorrow after you clean up or we do not come back to casino for a month.
Dad did the typical I am going to lash out at the girl. So I told him you’re the one who decided to **** on yourself, and I didn’t say we couldn’t come back. I said we needed to go home because it not okay for your to sit in your ****.. He got mad at me. I got annoyed with him. If he would just not argue and come with right away we could have made a trip back out right away. I know I found the
cheapest car insurance in my area, but I am not sure they would cover my car interior for damage at least none got on the seat or in the car.
Maybe it time to start considering options if dad is going to wait too long to go potty.
I know it’s embarrassing to him, and I don’t always handle things like this well. I love him, I care about him and sometimes he thinks I am horrible because I feel we need to do things a certain way for his best interest. So looks like Thursday we will go to the casino with dad and hopefully he will have a good night.

I have learned something recently, and I am glad I learned it. I have to say I wish my father in law doctor had shared this information with me. He knows I work with Autistic children so it is not too far of a jump to figure I would understand the term Sensory integration, and that it would do dad some good. Sensory integration is doing activity which deal with the different senses. This can help them feel better, and happier and involved. The problem is if you just leave them sit at home and do nothing this allows them to become depressed, but if you get them playing with something like ball that lights up, play doh, puzzles, or art type projects, soft balls and other things like it will help. Now the thing is with some people you can’t give them things that normally children would enjoy because they might not want to do it. The way I handle this problem is by doing some of the activities with dad, and this makes him happy.
I will say I was shocked how happy he was just by simply throwing a ball back and forth did it for a half hour the other day. Yesterday we got him a bowling ball set, and we played that together and he enjoyed that too.
The thing is with Alzheimer’s yes it is horrible to deal with but when they are in their right mind it is hard for them not to be involved in our lives especially when they live in the same home. Dad likes to go to casino, I guess he gets plenty of sensory input there with all the lights and sounds.
Today we got some paint and color by number which he seemed interested in doing so it will be nice to see how well he likes it once he gets started. I wish the doctor would have told us about doing something like this sooner, and not find out through someone who not a doctor. So keeping them involved in simple tasks they are able to do is the key to keeping them happy.

Have you ever noticed people sometimes mean well but they do not understand what you are going through. I have received advice on how to deal with dad from people who have no clue what it is to live with my Father in Law. I find myself sometimes frustrated with people thinking oh you can work full time and leave dad alone. The greatest one is well maybe your dad could go and work at McDonalds, give me a break he 88 almost and can barely hold his balance it would be like him trying to sale
www.weightlossdrink.org door to door. Dad wouldn’t remember his task.
Dad has been retired, I get dad needs to do something during the day. I get I need a break but this isn’t a safe break. I know people mean well but you know if they haven’t dealt with it they don’t know. They don’t know what it like to wake up at 2 or 3 in the morning with dad trying to leave the house and go somewhere. They have no clue about the fear of what if he gets out of the house and I don’t wake up. He might get ran over because we have a main road. These fear haven’t happened yet and they may never happen but there are always there. The other fear is we can leave Dad with a friend but what if he cusses at them or makes a pass at their wife or girl friend. How do you explain something like this to people without experience.

Sometimes dad doesn’t know who we are or he gets confused. Last night dad was trying to be funny but I do not think he understands what funny and what is not funny. It hard to watch him decline then be normal. I sometimes wonder how many more visits the grand kids will have before dad is bad and will no longer be fun to see. It hard some days watching dad at night or in the morning thinking he has to be somewhere that happened 20 to 50 years ago in the past.
We have been keeping dad up during the day so he doesn’t sleep all night. I am hoping that we will never need to have a home pulse oximeter or anything like that. So in the back of our mind when the kids visit is how many good days will there be, because these young ones will not want to be around grandpa when he doesn’t know them or is confused about reality.

Well I guess today is not a day for fishing for us. Oh well that will be fine, I going to need some kind of allergy relief. I hate the Air conditioner because every time it on I get my allergies in a bunch and hubby don’t understand why I don’t like it. He complains about it humid well it doesn’t feel humid to me or even warm now when I cook dinner I will probably put it on to keep the apartment form getting to hot. Drives me nuts how much he uses the AC it warm but not horribly warm like he doesn’t get that if we increase our usage of AC then our payment on electric will increase even if we are on the program which takes our payment over 12months and adds it together and then divide it and make the payments lower. Hubby doesn’t seem to get that if that goes up there less money to use on other things.
I do not like running it because I want my monthly payment to say the same.. So he can suffer, or get a fan on.
To bad we can’t get together with our nephew and do fishing today like we had wanted then hubby would not be complaining about the weather. Maybe we can do it next weekend, if the weather is nice enough.

Dad thinks things are broken because he does not know how to use things. Like the cell phone it’s broken, I can’t call my sister or brother or it tells me to dial a 1. He thinks if he must do a little bit of work, it does not work. Dad asked for a new wallet, and tried telling me it was broken because he felt he might not be able to put it in his pocket. What does he need
invitations on how to use things correctly. I am tempted to get him nothing for a very long time because lately all he does is complain about what not working and it’s because of user error. I mean every time he asks for something he wants we try to get it for him then he just complains about everything, no thank you or anything.

I hate it when people stare at me or watch me for a long period. It makes me nervous, and I will admit I might get a little on the defensive side when family does it. It like what do I have some big bug on my face or something. I just don’t like it. I don’t know why I hate it so much but it drives me nuts. What bugs me most is when people stare at me and then ask are you pregnant, No I am just fat leave me alone, I don’t have any need for prenatal vitamins. It bugs me most when dad asks these questions. Normally when dad staring he going to be asking me something about why I am so fat.
So I ask him or my hubby what, and they don’t get why I might sound a little annoyed.