Just Pass Me By

I wish bill collectors would take a flying leap on holiday weekends. Take Friday off go shopping do someting other then bug people! Dad and I were eating our breakfast, and chatting, I made us eggs, turkey sausage, and him toast with coffee. We have helped dad a lot, and I have been laid off for quiet a while, so I haven’t been able to keep up with my bills and I have got one person I owe just a little over 400 to, now I want to pay him but shoot I simply can’t. I told them once I got a job I will start sending in money. I will start sending in money as soon as I get a job. Hopefully sooner then later, so I can contact a debt consult and get my medical and hubby medical and this one bill as one payment this way we deal with our debts.
But for me to do this I need to have a job! I been looking and just not been sucessful at finding one. Dad was here when I got the call I hung up, I figured not arguing with the person, would be better for dad. I told him not to worry it’s just a bill collector on a car I had fixed and until I have a job, I can’t do anything. Dad told me to take 150$ from his money when he got it and give them some shut up money. I told him No, because it not right taking from him. It’s not right taking from him, on a fix income. I don’t feel right about it so I told him No, it’s not okay, and we won’t do that. Dad got upset with me, and said So I can’t help you eventhough you are helping me? He didn’t feel it was right, so now how do I make everyone happy, and still do the right thing. I know sending some shut-up money would help but I don’t want to take from dad, because he needs his money. I told him find I would but I am paying it back. He said no and I told him okay, I will pay it back if I see you need it or when you need it. I really need to find a good stable job.
Monday I was called to work for another company for one day, that will give me enough money to keep my cellphone on for the month so that what I will do. When I get ready to send the guy money I will call him and tell him I rounded up 150 for him that what I have and i will work on getting the rest to him some how. That’s the best I can do. The hard thing about parents, is they always want to help their children even if it their in law. I don’t know why dad is so attached to me. But I have won my husband family hearts. I want him to be proud of me not helping me out. To be honest I am worried about dad sleeping so much since he been here. I hope he getting enough sleep and being taking a care of well where he is at. Now maybe he woke up with a head ache as a side effect of not smoking. I am proud of him no smokign since he got here. Wow that has to be heard Wendesday evening until now and it’s friday. That’s very good.

Yesterday my husband and I were talking about what to do about Thanksgiving. It is one of the few Holidays we celebrate, or pay attention too, that not an appointed time. Thanksgiving is one of the holidays I enjoy the most. I love cooking the turkey, stuffing and all that good stuff. This year I will be making some Candy Yams and Stuffing, I am probably not going to do the mash potatoes unless dad would like them. Kind of getting sick of mash potatoes. Having them a lot lately but oh well hubby is a meat and potatoes guy so if it makes him happy let him have it.
Dad had called us while we was in a movie, and after the movie I saw it. Now before we went to the movie we was talking about giving dad a call and inviting him over for Thanksgiving dinner, because it be nice to have him. My husband said we needed to call him this weekend, and see what plans he had. Well after the movie we went and saw and I will say enjoyed, I called dad.
I asked him what was up, and how he was doing. I found out his Insurance has lapsed I have to check her bank sheet from the last account and find out if it was returned to them or if it was taken out and if so why they canceled his car insurance. I won’t be able to get insurance on dad van until the beginning of the month if it’s been canceled. I told Dad we was calling to see if he like to come up to us for dinner, he asked what are you making I told him what my plans are. After about 10 minutes of talking about it, dad tells us well I been asked by the people I live with and I don’t want to tell them no. He didn’t want to upset them because they invited him. Now I am a little bugged by them asking dad if he like Thanksgiving there, before even talking to my husband or I to see if we have any plans with of inviting dad. But I won’t hold a grudge… My husband felt a little hurt and annoyed, and expressed the feeling of “He’s all we have left” Yes dad is all we have lift as far as his side of the family, but we also have Granny. My husband felt family was more important and Dad decision should be easy to pick his family because family aught to come first. Now I know in the past dad hasn’t put the family first when he was drinking and we are worried about him drinking again.
I know dad is hurting because of losing mom, this is his first holiday with out Mom, and it’s going to be hard on him, and frankly I rather have him here and not as a large gathering with a bunch of children since last time they had a large get together dad couldn’t handle it and they called me angry with dad.
After talking to my husband and him expressing some feeling of being hurt by his dad choices, and frustrated with dad. I told him maybe I aught to call Grandma, and have her light a fire under dad ass, Grandma been talking to him since mom dad. Yes his dad is in Grandma age group, but I am not trying to set them up, Grandma is just the greatest person I know to help someone with grief. That friendship for dad came when we was dealing with hospital, and not wanting a psychiatrist deal with dad grief, because they lock him away and take away valuable time to be with mom. I was able to keep dad form doing it and I know granny would be great for him to talk to….
I called granny and explained the situation. I express I was a little annoyed with dad, and that my hubby was feeling hurt by dad picking the people he lives with over the family. My granny told me, tell him “We expect you there”, I was worried being that aggressive with dad would actually cause dad not to want to do anything at all. What are we supposed to say, “We expect you here and we’ll be there at this time because family should come first”. I told granny that I was worried about that approached because wouldn’t he feel we are taking away his free choice. Granny, said then tell him he can stay with his family.. Well that doesn’t work neither when it hurting my husband. I don’t want to hurt hubby. Well after talking to granny for a while, and then talking to my hubby. I told him what Granny had said, and he also agreed with my concerns of being aggressive with dad. Now I know as a power of Attorney, we have some abilities to protect dad, even against his well, but I don’t feel this would constitute as protecting him from himself. Now taking away his checkbook and tell him you not allowed to know any of your banking information other then what you have in the account and if your bills and rent are getting paid. I don’t want him giving out the banking information to anyone not even his landlord live in people. I do not ever want to cross the bridge of having things taken out of that account that should not have been.
My husband and I spoke about what can we say to dad for him to understand, that family should come first. My husband came up with the approach of Dad your all we have lift and we need you. I think this works better because instead of telling Dad he’s doing wrong, it takes the more proactive gentle way with dad. My hubby called back dad, and told dad what he felt, and in the end dad was like I told them we could trade. I’ll see the kids for Thanksgiving, and I can stay here for Christmas. I am glad did that because we do not celebrate Christmas, we do Chanukah and I am not sure how dad will deal with that. Looks like we have dad coming and that what important to us.
I will have to keep a eye on dad and make sure he is safe while living with these people, I don’t have to many concerns and the concerns I have are fairly serious. I don’t think they will physically hurt him, they may lie to people who call for dad to get personal information. I love dad, and I will probably be overly protective of him.

While getting ready to head off to the campus, I was going to leave early enough to stop at the bank, and get something to eat like I do every night I have class. I got a phone call from one of the companies I have worked for in the past, and have a interview next week on Monday.
I am relieved but at the same time I am wondering if this job will allow me to not work full-time, so I can take care of the house, school, and family. I hope I get working right away, because I can’t not be working.
Lately I feel like my husband thanks I am superwoman or something because everytime I turn around he leaves he’s dishes where they are at unless I tell him to pick them up. He expects me to deal with his dad stuff, and then for me to talk to him but he never allows me to talk to him so then he goes to someone else who talked to me in the first place. If he wanted to talk to them not me then he should have just simply talked to the person and not told them to call me.
He thinks I cranky and giving him the silent treatment last night. No I was frustrated and it came though my voice not directed at him. I told him I was thinking about trying to do retial or something and he pretty much shot down that idea so I asked him well what am I supposed to do no where is calling me so I need to do something and I can;t be picky.
Today I texted him to let him know I got an interview with the company I applied at a couple of days ago and all he could worry about was if it would help with my counseling master. Well right now no job isn’t going to help me at all, and the type of work it would be I think it could help with the major to some point. First I have to get through my Bachelors in Business then I can move on to my Master program I am pretty sure I can get into a program….
What’s been going on with dad he in the angry part of his grief I understand it and get times are hard. I am the first one people call lately when dad is doing bad things, I don’t mind but I don’t feel I have a husband to speak to and share with because he don’t seem to want to talk. He hasn’t figure out when I say we need to talk about dad or this that I am wanting him to acknowledge, and let me know it okay to talk at that time about what’s happening with his father. I been trying to be careful with him because I know he also lost his mom but I can’t take on everything here it will become to much for me to handle.
Dad is throwing around other people stuff, which means I get called. I explain the best I can what dads doing to his friends. He’s went back to drinking and driving at night when he aught to not be driving at night. On Sunday we will be going down to see dad and it will probably be me to bring up what dad is doing… The bank also wants to talk to my husband and I about dad’s loans I hope they don’t try to make my husband and I pay for it because we can’t pay it off even if we wanted to.

Last night I told my hubby we needed a couple of things. When he called back to ask if I wanted to join him to Target, or just go there. I told him I don’t care either way, because I just realized them buns I thought was good are actually bad so now I need you to pick up buns and cheese. Hey simple isn’t it, he waited a couple of seconds and said I better just come and get you. Okay fine no big deal not like I am doing very much and I could use getting out of the house.
Why is it that when he says he be here shortly by the time it take me to walk to the door, he not there eventhough I had to put on socks and shoes and change my pants, since they had a whole in them. Yep it been one of those days, got a whole in my bottom. I told him, by the time I got everything on that he’d be here. He must of got stop behind the buss because I got to the door and had to wait. I wonder if he make me wait that long for a Disney vacations, if he drag his feet to do it.
Okay everyone who knows me knows I hate shopping with a passion I will do it but I simply do not shopping. I don’t mind doing it for things which are needed but I get irriated very quickly with him. I am happy to say tonight I didn’t get irrated with him until he started talking politics. We where saying the same thing but I got annoyed with him, because I started to feel he was talking down to me and argueing with me.
We where able to get everything we need and I got more yogurt which I was needing anyways.

My best friend has one of the sweetest cats I have met. His been sick since day one, and many of her other friends told her to put the cat down. He got kidney problems, and now he got problems with his stomach and he has cat asthma, so he always on steriods of some type. I feel bad for her because there are months she bring in her cat at least 2 if not 3 times.
On some levels I agree with her friends, but I also put another clause in it, which is if the cat is eating drinking and playing, then he okay. I don’t see the point of putting down a cat unless its in to much pain or stops playing and eating or drinking because it clear he not having a good life.
Lately my friend has been a little bit holier then thou coming across on messenger I know that not her intention, so I over look it. This week I got a little annoyed with her because on my birthday she was texting me about her cats problem and never once asking how I was doing. I not made at the no happy birthday no big deal but lately she been doing a lot of the tell me all her problems but never bother to ask how I am doing. I am not mad but it’s annoying sometimes.
To bad getting pet insurance isn’t as easy as finding good cheap auto insurance. What they need is a medical plan for her cat, and for their new baby kitty. I think the hardest thing for her will be when the time comes to do the right thing, I just hope she doesn’t leave him suffer when it time for him to be let go off. I know it sounds cruel but it’s not. I believe our pets should be given a lot of care and compassion and to let them live with horrible pain is wrong. Now Otis my cat if he ever so sick that it’s more pain for him I know it be hard for me to make that call but I have already decided if he ever got cancer I would probably end up needing to put him down. I would leave him live as comfortable as possible but when he got uncomfortable I would say that was enough.
My friend feels like a bad mommy to her cat, but honestly it nothing she done because he always been a sick cat and that not something she caused.

Before my husband and I went down to see dad we had talked about some of hubby’s concerns for his dad. Over the last couple of years we noticed dad has some growth on his face to me they look like moles, moles aren’t necessarily bad unless they start changing cheaps or colors sometimes they are bad even with out changing.
I have had a mole on my side of my face for a long time since I was a early teen, it’s level with my eye but can be hid with my hair, I would love to get it removed but not sure if the scar is worth the not having it there. I told my husband I have had this for a while and if dad got what I have or similar he aught to be fine.
We talked to dad about getting it checked to make sure it nothing bad. Dad said he would next time he went to the doctor. We worry about him because of losing mom to cancer. I am not saying because mom had it he’ll have it in some other form. But because he smokes and does other things which aren’t healthy we worry he has increased his risk. Dad has a health plans through the company he retired from. I know the people he living with now are safer I just hope they are making sure he taking his meds, and that he is seeing his doctor when he aught to. I thinking for my husband and I cancer will always be our greatest fear for our loved ones.

You know those people who walk around with those blowers, they work great on leaves and fallen small branches. Otis why at his clawing post perch thing, they came walking by the building he got into a small little coarch type of stance and started walking toward me, with his ears back.
He wanted nothing to do with that loud noise but hey I can’t blame him niether because I don’t like it niether. Now I will have to go out and clean off my balcony.
Otis went and hid behind my coach after a couple minutes he did something I have not seen him do when he gets scared. I have my sewing machine between the coach and the wall in the living room, Otis went to the sewing machine and put his 2 front paws up and look from his little hidding place he made for him self and watched what they were doing.
Grant it when Otis is scared or alarmed I will tell him it’s okay, it can’t get you. Otis I wouldn’t call him a shy cat but I wouldn’t call him out going, I will say he improved a lot since I first got him. It used to be when something scared him he would hide in somewhere for the entire day. So this is a improvement for Otis considering he is back in here, sneefing my toes.

We found my husband jacket. I couldn’t remember if he had it at the clinic, and my friend said she recalled him wearing it at the clinic. Today we got a package from one of our reveiwable things. Yippie I can’t wait to see what new games we get to play. Okay I like gaming expecially when I get stuck on homework or when I just get home from work and need to give my brain a little of relaxation time to think of nothing.
I better call my friend and tell her that he found his jacket. I stopped by management and one of our guys told me we have your husband jacket. I was like are you kidding me. This honestly was the last place and honest I didn’t even think about the office here. I would have never guessed it niether would my husband have. Good thing I went down there to pick up a package but it would have been nice to at least recieve a call hey we have your jacket. It’s not like it’s tea light candles which are great, but still not needed right away this time of year. It’s a jacket in in Minnesota it does get a little cold toward the end of October, well now hubby gots 2 jackets. Maybe before stopping on Saturday we should have checked with management but you know I forgot all about him having his jack over his arm not on him. Oh well, 2 jackets is good and now I don’t have to hurry up and net him his scraff. Now I can take my time and unthread it if I really wanted to but I think I am far enough that unthreading it would be more of a pain in the nick then good. I wonder what we got in our package, I don’t open them I let him open them, with me.

I wish I had two of me, I seriously could use another me. Today my husband and I were talking, and I kind of didn’t get everything done in school. My school sites been having issues, well on Monday night I am supposed to go to a service with Hubby, well if I don’t want to go I don’t have to. I told my husband I have to get all my home work done before Monday night because if I go to service Monday night then Tuesday morning, I won’t have time to finish up the lose ends.
We had to stop at one of the stores, and hubby wanted me to make chilli the way I make it with final exams and having to write one paper and a part of a learning team paper and help with the Powerpont presentation I just felt that would be to much on my plate. I love cooking but the prep sometimes just takes to much time and if I am going to do it I don’t want to feel rushed. I first told him it would cost us more money then we had to spend, which it would have, then I told him Plus I have a lot of homework and that just to much pressure on me. He didn’t get it, and expected me to explan it for him. How many times do I have to tell him when I am at the last night of class and I have a final Exam I don’t havea lot of time. It amazing how men will think okay I can seat in my room play on the computer or what ever, and my wife can do everything else. I know he don’t think that but sometimes it feels like it expecailly when I am feeling pressured because I didn’t get everything done and I forgot what this week was coming up.
It took me just a little over 2 hours to complete my paper, but by the time I got it done I realized oh he didn’t come out… He told me he would help me with time management so I could get everything done by helping, tonight would have been a great night to cook dinner for me, it would have helped me a lot expecailly getting us feed before 9pm.
I made him bean and chips me I had a Yogurt because I have to watch my weight, and didn’t want anything heavey. At least I have no dishes in the kitchen sinks that’s a plus. Tomorrow I will be able to complete my other 2 things.

I have always believed that trust has to be earned. I have learned when I won’t hold to the “trust has to be earned” I get burned. My husband mom recently passed away and I have shared about it. Dad decided he would stay with a neighbor. I honestly had some unsettled feelings about it, but because dad wanted to I decided to try not to worry to much for dad.
Tonight we got a call about the woman he is living with from my husband sister there were concerns. So my husband called one our family members who lives right near, and found out. We have been a little annoyed because when we call dad there we never get an answer. We found out that the girl dad living with and him got into an arguement, and the girl family had pretty much fill the entire garage thing with their stuff and we are talking one of those extra large dumbster. They had their arguement because she didn’t want to let dad have his van on Sunday. On Sunday is his little newphew birthday, the baby grandchild. Well, our neighbor who apart of the family asked who owns the van title.
It seems this woman needs to stop taking advantage of dad… Even on the newspaper route she not helping enough which isn’t right.
They have taken almost all the funiture from the bottom floor of the house. Maybe they aught to look into some futures trading or something. I guess we will just have to pray nothing happens to dad, but it also at the same time seems like he on a self distruct mission.