Just Pass Me By

I got a good night sleep last night, dad was able to sleep all night which is great. I should look into getting some msm supplement maybe it would help my immune system deal with all the stress it under. Last night I had some strange dreams, and some dreams mixed in with other stuff going on in life.
I woke up this morning a couple of times but for the most my dreams where pleasant and funny. I had a couple not so pleasant dreams but that happens sometimes. I am glad dad sleep all night it allowed my body a little time to heal. I woke up this morning able to speak a little stronger then yesterday but boy I am tired.
I decided last minute this morning to go to service and I partly went because I was going to go stair crazy.
Dad was pretty good today no confusion and yesterday he didn’t recall anything about being up early in the morning or keeping us up. I think the way I will define Alzheimer is being stuck in a past reality and unable to be apart of the present reality.

My husband has been doing great on his weight loss goal, and has been losing enough weight that some of his clothes are starting to fit him better, and other are simply starting to fall off of him. I am proud of him, this is the first time since I have known him that he’s been successful at losing weight. To day after service during our fellowship lunch is what I will call it so everyone who reads this can understand it. I noticed him wearing a shirt that I’d never seen before.
I have to say our friend did a great job at finding him some nice tops because it looked good on him. At dinner tonight I was looking at the logo or design. I called it a devil because for some reason it looked to me like one. We had a little laugh at it and we knew that our friend wouldn’t do that. But it is amazing how sometimes you can look at a logo and see something very different.

I wished I had my camera out and ready today. Otis and Shadow were so cute together and it would have been a nice picture. Otis was sitting on the end of the coach and shadow was laying right next to him. They where even being good until Otis caught my eye. I think the dog is a better weight lose item then any effective weight loss supplements I like walking and exercising and the dogs got a load of energy.
What caught my eye is that Otis started slapping the dog again. Poor thing didn’t know what she done wrong so she went running under where hubby likes to site.

Last night was a very long night, dad had me up half the night. Then when I was asleep I was waking my self of with bad breathing. Dad was up half the night talking to his wife who passed away a year ago in August. We have to figure out our budgeting advice because of him being with us and me cutting back my hours at work to take care of dad.
Well last night he got up at 445 am telling me he had to go to work, and needed to find his work clothes. He wanted his car keys and wanted to know where we’d put them. Well dad don’t drive and he been retired for at least 20 years if not longer. I lost my voice so i can’t talk loud enough to communicate with him clearly.
I had to wake my husband because I was worried he leave the house and there would be little I could do to help him understand he retired and doesn’t work and was safely at home. I tried telling him go back to bed.
Hubby came out and ask him what was going on. So dad repeated everything to hubby. Hubby told him he been retired for a long time and he didn’t have to go to work. So dad told him fine I tell them to call you when they call me.
It very hard to see dad like this. Well I never really fall back to sleep and when I finally did dad came back out looking to see if I was a sleep, well I wake up very quickly. I am a light sleeper so normally if everything off in the living room or hallway best to let me sleep. I am hoping I can get a nap today. I ended up calling in sick again because I can barely talk and not feeling good at all.

My older sister and her hubby live on the west coast. I forgot the time difference over there, wasn’t thinking about it. I had a lot on my mind. My sister told her hubby what hubby and I were going through with dad, who right now having a lot of joint pain in his legs. His dad has the same thing, and I told him you and my sister are the only ones I know like me, that are the child experiencing it not just the spouse. This weekend I found out there was a couple of other people in the same situation as hubby and I and to be honest it made me feel less alone.
I was talking to sis hubby about needing to start thinking about making things more protective of dad, because I am worried in one of his state of confusion he going to walk out in the cold winter night and something bad might happen. He told me something, along the lines of if something happens to dad it’s not your fault if he leaves while your sleeping or your hubby sleeping. You have done your best to care for him. Pretty much told me what ever happens to dad isn’t my fault, it because of what he going through, when it time for dad to pass, I already know no matter how good I was to him I am going to find blame or at least look for it in myself. I worry about dad sometimes when I am gone because he doesn’t take care of himself well, and can only be gone for 5 hours at a time, no longer, because he can’t be lift alone. It was nice talking to him about it, because they understand the sacrifices made by hubby and I when others don’t get it in the same way.

It seems woman lose weight so much slower than men do. My husband been on diet for a few months now and is about to drive me crazy because everyday he telling me how much he lost. This bugs me because I been losing weight but don’t feel the need to talk about it daily, it not like I am some supper thermogenic fat burners queen but sometimes I feel he the king of losing weight.
Sometimes I worry about hubby because he seems to be so interested in his weight lose and so concerned when he doesn’t lose weight as quickly as he think he aught to lose it.

You know there are no circuit city here near me, they close the closes one, and I think I might have been able to find what dad wants but oh well. Well Dad wanted to take a 2 weeks vacation with people who in the pass took advantage of him. He does not seem to understand those people who have took advantage of him and had his checking accounts both in a huge mess that they will do it again, and thinks we are being to hard. I made a promise to mom I would protect dad, and I have done my best at it. Well I told dad we could arrange for him to go some where with hubby and I, as a vacation but not for 2 weeks and when I have time off from work. I get time off every 3 to 4 months no matter what, so it’s pretty easy for me to do this for him, but not for hubby. I do not think he allowed to take more then a day or 2 off at a time, which personally I think he worked there for well over 2 years now, and is faithful employee never mess a day for sickness except for once and that was this year when I brought home the flue to dad and he but didn’t catch it. Oh well, the money not there for us to miss to much work.
Things have been going okay with dad lately but I do not think he always understand things, or how things really are and wants to be everyone friend even if they take advantage.

Between the dog and the cat I don’t know who going to win the She mine war. The last couple of days the dog has decided, it would be good to not go number two, there nothing wrong with her, because if I were to leave her out and about she find a place to poop in, in a corner and then I would have to clean it up. The thing that bugs me is she pees on the bad and now Otis thinking oh I can pee there to.
Otis has been going into the dog kennel and sleeping when the dogs not in there, so sometimes I stick them both together but only while we are in the same room. Maybe they can have their pee context in the kennel and other places. My hubby has had to wash the sheets twice in one week and you know that gets a little expensive when animals can’t mind their manners, maybe I should see if I can get instant life insurance quote for the cat, and dog because I might need it. Hopefully I can get a 2nd cat litter box so I can keep the cat out of the bedroom when we are not in it.

I am going to need to get some wrinkle remover, with all the stress dad has been putting me through. Last night hubby and I decided we would go out with a friend, and share with her some of our struggles as a married couple who took in dad. We had a great time and were able to share things, and well this meeting was a lot less tense and went smoother, probably because hubby and I are getting along pretty well.
I got home afterward and dad was just in a real fowl mood, he was made and accused me of lying to him about what hubby and I was doing, and that we was doing something to make him not involved with problems. Well nope we went out to have a good time, and not have dad baby sitting us. I just do not understand how he can be so angry because hubby and I take one night a week to us and we are not out late and sometimes we meet up with other friends.
To make things harder he is simply confused and getting dreams mixed up but goodness forget about telling him he was dreaming and it never happened because he will not listen to reason. It kind of frustrating to come home and be yelled at, and deal with his bad attitude and grumpy mood everyday. I try hard to make sure he gets what he needs and wants but some days it very hard to be around him.

I am not sure what is going on, or why. I know it’s been suggested that I get another cat litter and place it where Otis has been liking to go since we got the dog. The dog sometimes go into hubby and my room and pees in there or poops in there, depending on her mood that day. We have started looking the dog out of there and now the cat has started going pee. He’s been peeing on the bed, now just about every 2 weeks. He peed in my clean clothes, and the other day he jumped up on my coach with hubby and I both home and in the same room and decided to pee on my winter jacket. Okay I have to say the cat knows better then this. Now hubby before Otis peed there was laying on the coach on top of my jacket. Maybe Otis feels his master is being taken away form him by the dog and hubby I am not sure.
My hubby brought up it could be something wrong with him, but he eating, and drinking and is very playful he not acting like something wrong other then just peeing where he aught not. Maybe I should get another cat litter in the hall way, and see if that solves the problem then I will have to problem of the dog going into the cat litter so it simply a frustrating thing. How can I end the turf war with the animals with out giving either away. Otis has been with me for a very long time. and the Dog well she a mental health dog for dad, plus we are all attached to her know.
Maybe I should get one of those litters boxes which self cleans this way when Otis uses it, it will be cleaned right away an there will be nothing for the dumb dog to eat in there. Yep the dog pulls out the kitty litter if I let her.
So now I got one holding it potty until she can no longer and the other one going where we don’t want him. I think Otis might be marketing me as his territory. I guess we can never bring him to cheap hotels new orleans.