Just Pass Me By

I have to feel bad for my big sis, she called me today. I am normally a early raiser but lately I haven’t been sleeping good. When dad is up I am up, which means I don’t always sleep much. When i finally do get to sleep while he sleeping I am so tired I sleep till almost noon. Normally I used to be up no later then 9am, it has changed a lot for me it seems. My husband is up most nights working so he can’t make sure dad doesn’t wander about so it on me. I don’t mind at all. You do what you need to for family. Mom asked me today why hubby doesn’t stay with dad at night when he up and I need sleep. Hubby sleep through anything and if dad wander out the door I want him to be stopped so he does not get harmed.
Dad sleep last night but I was very tired today. Finally my face cleaner came in the mail yesterday from MN, I am so glad I won’t need to get some argan oil for skin and try it now. the stuff I had was drying me out and making me itchy.

Dad has been frustrating me. I understand he needs to get up and go pee, I understand he might have needs in the middle of the night. I don’t mind if he tells me he has a need, especially when he staring at me and I ask him What do you need. What’s wrong. I get annoyed when he tells me after I finally fedup with trying to get some sleep that he was in pain all night his legs hurt. Well why didn’t you ask me for something. I was on my computer till 3Am and then waiting for the stupid Cable box to turn off which it never did. I finally fall asleep and got 2 hours of sleep for him to wake me up. I hardly get a full night sleep, so I get grumpy becuase I can not take naps during the day. Only naps I get is when I am sick, other wise I simply don’t fall asleep well.
Today when he started complaining at me about his pain, I told him I didn’t want to hear it because he could have asked for meds. He often does not tell us what he wants or needs and then get mad at us when we are not mind readers. It not like I have a mobile cell booster in my brain that connects me to everyone needs. Yes I have empathy, sometimes I can tell if he not feeling the best. But how am I supposed to fix it if he don’t tell me what wrong when I ask or what he needs when I ask. He ask for donuts and popcorn but not meds for pain.
Today he told me, find him somewhere else to live. I told him fine you can go to a home, you ungrateful little grunt. He can’t take care of his self, I have to make sure he takes his meds, takes a bath, puts clean clothes on. It like dealing with a 2 year old child, except he mostly potty trained. He won’t even tell me if he gotta go potty while out then want to stay there when he has an accident and get mad at me and hubby when we tell him no we need to go home and change. I know he got Alzheimer but it still hard not to let some of the things that happen bug me. This weekend he ended up in the hospital for dehydration even though I been giving him water. Sometimes I feel like I have failed at my duty to protect him, but as I say you can lead a horse to water but if they aren’t gonna drink it nothing you can do.

I do not know how many times I have to tell my father in law to stop using my desk as his stabilizer. We get him a cane and he refuses to use the dang thing, well what do we expect he do the same with the rings mom got him even if they was artcarved wedding bands. It is frustrating dealing with him always wanting to use the desk which isn’t that stable to begin with, my keyboard thing has already came off of the desk from to much wait on it. This desk can well break because it is not exactly the strongest piece of furniture in the house. If he leaned on the TV entertainment stand I would be less worried the thing ways 100pounds, and is stable. I am just waiting for my desk to break and the monitor to go down and break along with the new video cam, and dad being seriously injured. I am trying to figure out where to move the desk to where he can not use it as a balancing agent.

Today I had to do a strong inventory test for school. I was surprised that landscaping was in there as an interest. I like planting and creating floral arrangements, I enjoy watching plants grow, or making simple designs. A floral arrangement can convey a lot to the person you give it to, it can tell them you care about them, you sympathize with them, you miss them. So many things a floral arrangement can do, it can even send them a gift of just thinking about you, or I love you.
I have bought many floral arrangements from different places. I guess maybe I should try my hand at the art of arranging floral things, and giving them as gifts maybe it would be something I end up doing very well. But as the saying goes you can’t take the helper out of a person, my career choice wouldn’t be in floral design but a hobby it could be. I like planting gardens and I miss being able to do that.

This post will deal more with Alzheimer of a love one. Dad was napping on the coach and woke up thinking one of his grandchildren were here. He thought we was still in Minnesota and my hubby had bought the kid a bike. He was wanting to know if the bike would be wrapped in plastic or how my husband would wrap it up. We had to tell dad a few times he was dreaming and go to bed. He thought we was with the kids.

He Not here, your home dad, go to bed. He has a cold or allergies not sure which one. Some days dad thinks we are in a different period of time. He been stubborn about drinking water, and caught him tonight drinking caffeinated pop while looking dry. Then he says I can’t drink water I am full. No your not to full to drink water, if your drinking caffeinated soda. Some days it like he needs some gold plated invitations to drink enough water, it like pulling teeth.

Last night in the middle of the night he asked me if he could go to the bathroom, well Yes you can go potty. Leave me sleep.. He went potty and then back to bed.At least he gets up to go potty and I do not have to clean that up yet. Would be be great if he could leave me be while doing homework. Seems like that when he wants to talk is when I have a bunch of reading homework to do.

In many ways my husband and I are starting over, we are moving across country. It will be a long ways. I am glad we have some stores which have a good Retail System that we are used too. We have to find a place like sam’s club to shop at now. But that okay I have a couple of ideas. I am excited about our new apartment, I have always liked fireplaces. I like fire. Yes I will say it fires are nice as long as they are controlled and contained. I love hearing the wood crackle and what have you. I also like watching the flame in the dark. I don’t know why. Maybe we can make Smores now anytime we want in the winter fall. I will need to find a good place to get firewood and find a place to store it.
We also get a washer and drier in our Unit. OH YES, no more sharing a bunch of laundry machines with people who want to take way your undergarments. Yeah, nice isn’t it. We will be giving away about 90% of our stuff but that okay, we have planned everything out and it will go better this way plus we will save more money then having a uhaul or something else.

No I am not packed all the way yet. I am working on getting my summer term completed I have 1 more week to go in school. 1 more week of work, this makes me want to cry. I love my job. I have enjoyed it. I hate my apartment building it’s horrible. The children here parents evidently haven’t decided to teach their children respect, no hanging on people car door handles, don’t scream in front of your neighbor balcony. Oh wait they scream down so yeah not gonna learn that lesson. Do not throw rocks at other people cares or apartment windows because their cat or dog might be hanging out on the window sell minding their own business. This does not even cover the maintenance issues how many times do I need to call in the same work order before it is actually fix. Maybe I should send a. photo holiday cards of the sink backing up to them for Thanksgiving, with the caption to bad you can not smell this too.
Today I was talking to a friend about other people children. We were talking about how parents of younger children do not seem to teach children things like no yelling in the apartment hallway, no throwing rocks and ect. Just the common sense stuff.

I am off work for a week but its finals week for my quarter in school. The sad thing is I do not get any time off between classes, and I still have organization to do in the apartment to get ready for moving. I might want to look on Wholesaleinsurance.net see if they got any traveling insurance for our stuff that won’t be covered by our insurance. I am not to worried about the move just being able to get everything done. I have a 2 week break between classes, so maybe that will be enough time to pack up and organize I doubt it though. We are hoping to be able to move in Mid-August to allow me a chance to get set up for my classes.

Oh my goodness I am about to shoot my father in law, if you know the saying you can lead a horse to water but nothing you can do if they not gonna drink. He needs to stop being so stubborn when it comes to drinking water, today he got sick again because of his insistence on not drinking water. Don’t worry I will not shoot him, just frustrated with him not drinking water. Maybe I should get him a few medical carts with bottled waters and he get that water is very important for him so he does not get sick. He gets mad because us kids insist on him drinking water and he thinks its to be mean to him and deprive him of what he thinks he aught to get. The honest truth is we do not want him to get sick and then die because he was dehydrated. So I guess I am leading a donkey to water and the donkey being stubborn.

Well looks like we have a big move, at least I found out today the stretch of road my sister was talking about between Minnesota and Oregon is no longer that stretch of road, there are supposed to be gas stations within 100miles of each other. This probably will be good for us because I will not need to have a gas can in the car unless I want one just for the in case.
I am lookign forward to this move but a little worried about dad benefits he doesn’t have Medicare part D plans because he employer who he worked for covers it so I am wondering if he cover in Oregon.